Attending a Sikh Wedding: Difference between revisions

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[[Image:Sikh wedding invitation.jpg|thumb|100px|left|{{c|Sikh Wedding invitaion card}}]]
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{{p|Image:Wedding-Iinvitation2.jpg|Sikh Wedding invitaion card}}


If you are invited to a Sikh wedding, don’t panic!  
'''<big>If you are invited to a Sikh wedding, don’t panic!</big>'''


This article gives a brief guide on what to expect and what you should wear. Most Sikh weddings are great fun occasions and provided that you are properly prepared, it should be a great day out!  
This article gives a brief guide on what to expect, what you should wear and a feel of the ceremonies that will take place. Most Sikh weddings are great fun occasions and provided that you are properly prepared, it should be a great day out!  


A wedding day will be a long and eventful affair - so be prepared to start early and finish late. Have a good rest the previous day and be fresh and relaxed for the wedding day.  
These weddings events are big, boisterous, chaotic events, with lots of twists and turns during the day, tons of food, lots of music and much energetic dancing. You'll have a hard time figuring out what's going on; just go with the flow of things and enjoy the events. As a guest you will be honoured by the family.


A wedding day will be a long eventful and exciting affair - so be prepared to start early and finish late. Have a good rest the previous day and be fresh and relaxed for the wedding day.


As a general rule the morning and early afternoon are taken up by the religious ceremony at the Sikh temple called the [[Gurdwara]]. While, these days the afternoon lunch is held at a different venue away from the Gurdwara.  
As a general rule the morning and early afternoon are taken up by the religious ceremony at the Sikh temple called the [[Gurdwara]]. While, these days the afternoon lunch is held at a different venue away from the Gurdwara.  


This is a departure from earlier traditions when the lunch consisted of a sumptuous [[langar]] at the Gurdwara. There is some pressure from Sikh religious organisations for this tradition to be restored.  
This is a departure from earlier traditions when the lunch consisted of a sumptuous vegetarian [[langar]] at the [[Gurdwara]]. There is some pressure from Sikh religious organisations for this tradition to be restored.  


{{tocright}}
However, you will have a lot to take in through the day and a huge amount of rich and varied foods to consume - so be careful, take it easy!


However, you will have lot to take in though the day and huge amount of rich and varied food to consume - so be careful, take it easy!
----
<center>
'''<big>One Soul in Two Bodies</big>'''


===Background information===
:'''''"They are not said to be husband and wife, who merely sit together. Rather they alone are called husband and wife, who have one soul in two bodies."'''''
 
:::::::::::([[Guru Amar Das]], [http://www.srigranth.org/servlet/gurbani.gurbani?Action=Page&Param=788&english=t&id=33638#l33638 Pauri, pg. 788] ''[[Sri Guru Granth Sahib]]'')
<blockquote>
----
''"They are not said to be husband and wife, who merely sit together. Rather they alone are called husband and wife, who have one soul in two bodies."'' (Guru Amar Das, Pauri, pg. 788 ''[[Sri Guru Granth Sahib]]'')
</center>
</blockquote>


==Background information==
The Sikh wedding ceremony is known as "[[Anand Karaj]]" which means 'Blissful Union". The Sikh marriage is a very colourful and unique ceremony in which two individuals are joined in a partnership of two equals.  
The Sikh wedding ceremony is known as "[[Anand Karaj]]" which means 'Blissful Union". The Sikh marriage is a very colourful and unique ceremony in which two individuals are joined in a partnership of two equals.  


It is not merely a physical and legal contract but a sacrament - a holy union between two souls. The spiritual goal of any Sikh is to merge his or her soul (atma) with God (Parmatma) and in marriage, the couple vow to help each other towards this goal.
It is not merely a physical and legal contract but a sacrament - a holy union between two souls. The spiritual goal of any Sikh is to merge his or her soul (atma) with God (Parmatma) and in marriage, the couple vow to help each other towards this goal.


The early part of the day is devoted to the religious ceremony which almost always takes place in a Sikh [[Gurdwara]] (or Sikh temple).  
The early part of the day is devoted to the religious ceremony which almost always takes place in a Sikh [[Gurdwara]] (Sikh temple).


==What to wear==
==What to wear==
[[Image:Sikh couple 3.jpg|thumb|150px|right|{{c|Photo showing the dress normally worn by a Sikh couple at the "[[Anand Karaj]]" ceremony}}]]
[[Image:Sikh couple 3.jpg|thumb|250px|right|{{c|Photo showing traditional dress normally worn by Sikh couple at the "[[Anand Karaj]]" ceremony<br>''Photo altair mahmud''}}]]


If you’re invited to the formal religious ceremony and you are unable to wear a [[salwar kameez]] or [[sari]] or an ethnic dress then bear the following in mind.
If you’re invited to the formal religious ceremony and you are unable to wear a [[salwar kameez]] or [[sari]] or ethnic clothes, then bear the following in mind.


At most Sikh wedding the men will wear a western suit usually in dark colour like blue, brown, grey, etc. while a few will wear a lighter colour like lime, beige, etc. Some men will wear traditional [[Punjabi]] or ethnic dress. Most women will wear traditional Punjabi dress in bright colours the preferred being blue, orange, brown, green, multi-colours, pink, etc.
At most Sikh weddings the men will wear a western suit usually in dark colour like blue, brown, grey, some might even choose to  wear a lighter colour such as lime, beige, etc. Some men will wear traditional [[Punjabi]] or ethnic clothing. Most women will wear traditional Punjabi dress in bright colours the preferred being blue, orange, brown, green, multi-colours, pink, etc.


===Dress sense===
===Dress sense===
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* Modest dress is the order of the day; bare shoulders, plunging necklines and short skirts will be out of place at a religious venue but will be fine for the reception which normally does not take place in the [[Gurdwara]]. Some ladies prefer to take a shawl that they can throw over their shoulders, and wear pants to the Gurdwara and then wear a skirt to the reception. That way your outfit is acceptable at both venues.  
* Modest dress is the order of the day; bare shoulders, plunging necklines and short skirts will be out of place at a religious venue but will be fine for the reception which normally does not take place in the [[Gurdwara]]. Some ladies prefer to take a shawl that they can throw over their shoulders, and wear pants to the Gurdwara and then wear a skirt to the reception. That way your outfit is acceptable at both venues.  


* For the religious part of the ceremony, you will need to sit on the carpet floor. You will be expected to sit cross-legged or otherwise on the floor for at least 45 minutes and this will prove difficult in tight or short clothing, so dress accordingly.
* For the religious part of the ceremony, you will need to sit on the carpeted floor. You will be expected to sit cross-legged or otherwise on the floor for at least 45 minutes and this will prove difficult in tight or short clothing, so dress accordingly.


'''Colours to wear'''
'''Colours to wear'''
It is a tradition in Sikh culture to wear vibrant and joyous colours to such occasions. You will witness bright reds, radiant blues, deep green and a huge mixture of these and others colours among the ladies. Although, it is better to avoid pure white and black at the actual religious ceremony there is nothing sacrosanct but you may feel a little out of place in some situations. It is easier for men may get away with a black suit at the religious ceremony.  
It is a tradition in Sikh culture to wear vibrant and joyous colours to such occasions. You will witness bright reds, radiant blues, deep green and a huge mixture of these and others colours among the ladies. Although, it is better to avoid pure white and black at the actual religious ceremony there is nothing sacrosanct, but you may feel a little out of place in some situations. It is easier for men - they may get away with a black suit at the religious ceremony. Dark colours for men may be OK.


Bright colours are certainly considered most auspicious at Asian weddings functions; pastels are also acceptable, especially in the summer. Try not to wear bright red as this is traditionally reserved for the bride and you wouldn’t want to outshine her on her special day!
Bright colours are certainly considered most auspicious at Asian weddings functions; pastels are also acceptable, especially in the summer. Try not to wear bright red as this is traditionally reserved for the bride and you wouldn’t want to outshine her on her special day!
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===The Bride & Groom===
===The Bride & Groom===


The bride is dressed in traditional [[shalwar]] and [[kameez]] or [[langa]] (a red blouse and trousers or skirt).  A heavy gold-embroidered shawl ([[chunni]] or dupatta) covers her head.  The groom is dressed in traditional shirt and trousers and he wears a red or dark pink turban and carries a coloured scarf (pulla).
The bride is dressed in traditional [[shalwar]] and [[kameez]] or [[langa]] (a blouse and loose trousers or long skirt).  A heavy gold-embroidered shawl ([[chunni]] or dupatta) covers her head.  The groom is generally dressed in traditional shirt and trousers and he wears a red or dark pink turban and carries a coloured scarf (pulla).


===In the Gurdwara===
==In the Gurdwara==
[[Image:Non-sikhs at sikhwedding-3.jpg|thumb|300px|left|{{c|Photo showing non-Sikhs dressed to attend a Sikh wedding ceremony}}]]
[[Image:Non-sikhs at sikhwedding-3.jpg|thumb|300px|left|{{c|Photo showing non-Sikhs dressed to attend a Sikh wedding ceremony}}]]


'''Covering the head'''


At a Sikh wedding you will be require to cover your head when you are in the Gurdwara (temple). Carry a long scarf or a pashmina stole, which can also be used to cover up bare shoulders or arms, if necessary. Men usually wear the head covering provided at the temple or carry a large white or coloured handkerchief to place over their head.  
At a Sikh wedding you will be require to cover your head when you are in the Gurdwara (temple). Carry a long scarf or a pashmina stole, which can also be used to cover up bare shoulders or arms, if necessary. Men usually wear the head covering provided at the temple or carry a large white or coloured handkerchief to place over their head.  
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'''Removing shoes'''
'''Removing shoes'''


Also at the  religious places will require you to take off your shoes and place them in the designated space before you enter the sanctified area. While some places may require you to be barefooted, usually wearing socks or stockings is acceptable.  
Also at the  religious places you  will be required  to take off your shoes and place them in the designated space before you enter the sanctified area. While some places may require you to be barefooted, usually wearing socks or stockings is acceptable.  


However, it is possible to attend just the formal religious wedding itself or just the lunch and gathering in the afternoon. Check with the host to clarify the exact programme.
However, it is possible to attend just the formal religious wedding itself or just the lunch and gathering in the afternoon. Check with the host to clarify the exact programme.


==The Wedding day protocol==
==The Wedding day protocol==
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The day usually starts early for the "Barat" which is the term used for the Groom’s side or the party of people accompanying the Groom.  
The day usually starts early for the "Barat" which is the term used for the Groom’s side or the party of people accompanying the Groom.  


*1. '''Departure of Barat''': Barat is the term used to describe the party from the Grooms side. The Barat will leave from the Groom's house to the [[Gurdwara]], usually near the Bride's house, where the actual wedding will take place. The arrangements for the rest of the day are normally made entirely by the Bride's family. However, some of this is now changing. If the groom lives far from the bride's house, the Barat may depart early in the morning. It is common for the Barat to set off from the groom's house at 8am. The Barat will then travel to the local area where the bride lives.
===Arrival at Gurdwara===
 
*1. '''Departure of Barat''': (Barat is ''"the Grooms side"'') The Barat will leave from the Groom's house to go to the [[Gurdwara]] usually near the Bride's house, where the actual wedding will take place. The arrangements for the rest of the day are normally made entirely by the Bride's family. However, some of this is now changing.  


If the groom lives far from the bride's house, the Barat may depart early in the morning. It is common for the Barat to set off from the groom's house at 8am. The Barat will then travel to the local area where the bride lives.


*2. '''Reception of Barat''': The Groom's party is "received" by the Bride's party at the [[Gurdwara]]. This usually takes place at about 9.30am.
*2. '''Reception of Barat''': The Groom's party is "received" by the Bride's party at the [[Gurdwara]]. This usually takes place at about 9.30am.


*3. '''Milnea''': (means ''"Introductions"'') The [[Ardas]] will be performed by the priest ([[Giani]]) followed by the formal introductions of the families. This will include the bride's & groom's father, grandfather and Mama - (mother's brother). They will formally meet, exchange garlands (and gifts) and have their photographs taken. This normally takes place in the foyer area of the [[Gurdwara]] at about 10am.


*3. '''Milnea''': (means "Introductions") The [[Ardas]] will be performed by the priest ([[Giani]]) followed by the formal introductions of the main male players in the families. This will include the bride's & groom's father, grandfather and Mama - (mother's brother). They will formally meet, exchange garlands (and gifts) and have their photographs taken. This normally takes place  in the foyer area of the [[Gurdwara]] at about 10am.
*4. '''Tea''': Tea with savouries (normally samosa, pakoras) and sweets (generally jalebis, ladoos and barfi) will be served and are normally taken standing at tables in the [[Langar hall]] at the Sikh temple ([[Gurdwara]]). Chairs are seldom provided in the Gurdwara unless the person is elderly or otherwise unable to stand for any length of time. Both the Groom's side and Bride's sides will take tea in turn and this should be concluded at about 10.30am.
 
 
*4. '''Tea''': Tea with savouries (normally samosa, pakoras) and sweets (generally jalebis, ladoos and barfi) will be served and are normally taken standing at tables. Chairs are seldom provided. Both the Grooms side and Brides side would take tea in turn and this would be concluded at about 10.30am.


===Main Ceremony===


*5. '''Main Wedding Ceremony''' ([[Anand Karaj]])
*5. '''Main Wedding Ceremony''' ([[Anand Karaj]])
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[[Image:Laava6-M3.jpg|thumb|200px|right|{{c|The Couple slowing walking clockwise around the Guru Granth Sahib}}]]
[[Image:Laava6-M3.jpg|thumb|200px|right|{{c|The Couple slowing walking clockwise around the Guru Granth Sahib}}]]


* This is the formal part of the ceremony and always takes place in a [[Gurdwara]]. After tea, at about 11am, everyone proceeds to go into the [[Darbar sahib]] or main prayer hall. Please observe the rules applicable which are described at [[Visiting a Gurdwara]]. Also described here is the type of clothing that should be worn.  
* This is the formal part of the ceremony which always takes place in a [[Gurdwara]]. After tea, by about 11am, everyone proceeds into the [[Darbar sahib]] or main prayer hall. Please observe the rules applicable which are described at [[Visiting a Gurdwara]]. Also described here is the type of clothing that should be worn.  


* Please note that you will be required to remove your shoes and cover your head in an appropriate manner before entering the main hall. Proceed into the darbar sahib paying attention to and observing the etiquette appropriate in the [[Darbar Hall]]. Always show respect to the [[Guru Granth Sahib]] as the Guru is held in high esteem by the Sikhs.  
* Please note that you will be required to remove your shoes and cover your head in an appropriate manner before entering the main hall. Proceed into the darbar sahib paying attention to and observing the etiquette appropriate in the [[Darbar Hall]]. Always show respect to the [[Guru Granth Sahib]] as the Guru is held in high esteem by the Sikhs.  
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* Once in the main hall, you will be expected to sit on the carpeted floor for at least 45 minutes. It is essential that suitable clothing be worn. The formal part of the wedding ceremony normally starts at about 11am and ends at about 1pm and comprises of the following functions:
* Once in the main hall, you will be expected to sit on the carpeted floor for at least 45 minutes. It is essential that suitable clothing be worn. The formal part of the wedding ceremony normally starts at about 11am and ends at about 1pm and comprises of the following functions:


:*a. '''[[Kirtan]]''' - The singing of the Holy Hymns - [[Gurbani]]. As you enter the darbar hall, musical singing of sacred hymns from the holy scriptures will already be taking place. The Kirtaini jatha (religious singers) will be seated on a stage in front of the hall next to the central stage of the Guru. The Guru Granth Sahib will be attended by a [[Sewadar]] (volunteer Sikh) or [[Giani]] (priest) who will be waving a [[Chaur]] over the Guru. After several [[Shabad]]s (hymns) have been sang, the priest ([[Giani]]) or the stage secretary will announce the timetable for the formal part of [[Anand Karaj]] ceremony in the darbar hall.
:*a. '''[[Kirtan]]''' - The singing of the Holy Hymns - [[Gurbani]]. As you enter the darbar hall, musical singing of sacred hymns from the holy scriptures will already be taking place. The Kirtaini jatha (religious singers) will be seated on a stage in front of the hall next to the central stage of the Guru. The Guru Granth Sahib will be attended by a [[Sewadar]] (volunteer Sikh) or [[Giani]] (priest) who will be waving a [[Chaur]] over the Guru. After several [[Shabad]]s (hymns) have been sang, the priest ([[Giani]]) or the stage secretary will announce the timetable for the formal part of the [[Anand Karaj]] ceremony in the darbar hall.


:*b. '''[[Ardas]]''' – Key People (Bride, groom, both parents of bride and groom) will stand straight with folded hands and join in this prayer.
:*b. '''[[Ardas]]''' – Key People (Bride, groom, both parents of bride and groom) will stand straight with folded hands and join in this prayer.


:*c.     '''Palla''' - The bride's father will formally hand the end of the sash, which the bridegroom wears over his shoulder into the hands of the bride. At the same time the shabad "Palla tanda lagee" is sung by the [[Kirtania]] [[jatha]] (musicians).
:*c.     '''Palla''' - The bride's father will formally hand the end of the sash, which the bridegroom wears over his shoulder into the hands of the bride. At the same time the shabad "Palla tanda lagee" is sung by the [[Kirtania]] [[jatha]] (musicians).


:*c. '''[[Laava]]''' – The Bride and Groom will walk in tow around the [[SGGS]] four times at the set intervals. First the priest will read a [[Laav]] (one of four) from the Guru Granth Sahib; then the musicians will sing the same laav while the Bride and Groom will circle the Guru in a clockwise direction.
:*c. '''[[Laava]]''' – The Bride and Groom will walk in tow around the [[SGGS]] four times at the set intervals. First the priest will read a [[Laav]] (one of four) from the Guru Granth Sahib; then the musicians will sing the same laav while the Bride and Groom will circle the Guru in a clockwise direction.


:*d. '''[[Ardas]]''' – All the congregation will stand and join in the ardas followed by [[Hukamnama]]
:*d. '''[[Ardas]]''' – All the congregation will stand and join in the ardas followed by [[Hukamnama]].


:*e. '''Sagaan''' – The parents of Bride and Groom followed by key people and the congregation will bless the newly wedded and give gifts or money and have photos taken.
:*e. '''Sagaan''' – The parents of the Bride and Groom, followed by key people and the congregation will bless the newly wedded and give gifts or money and have photos taken.


:*f. '''[[Kara Parshad]]''' – Blessed "Sweet pudding" is served. This ends the formal part of the Sikh wedding ceremony.
:*f. '''[[Kara Parshad]]''' – Blessed "Sweet pudding" is served. This ends the formal part of the Sikh wedding ceremony.


===The Party and Closing ===
*6. '''Lunch''': Previously this used to be [[Langar]] at the [[Gurdwara]] but now it is lunch at a commercial venue. When held in a commercial venue, it is like a normal "dinner & dance" type of event. Loud "[[Bhangra]]" music is played and, perhaps, even  alcohol and meat may be served!


*6. '''Lunch''': Previously this used to be [[Langar]] at the [[Gurdwara]] but now it is lunch at a commercial venue. When held in a commercial venue, it is like a normal "dinner & dance" type of event. Loud "Bhangra" music is played and alcohol and meat may be served!
*7. '''Departure of Doli''': The bride changes into new clothes that are presented to her by the groom's family. She  then departs from her parent's house (a very sad and touching occasion).


*8. '''Reception''': (Optional) This may be held on the same day or on  another day and is an  evening "dinner and dance" type occasion, sometimes not too formal (please check with the party) where only invited guests from both familes can attend.


*7. '''Departure of Doli''': The bride changes into new clothes that are presented to her by the groom's family. She will then departs from her parent's house (a very sad and touching occasion).
==Other concerns==


===Gifts, Sagaan, etc===
It is not normal for the guests to take gifts for the Bride or Groom unless you are a very close relative. There is a ceremony called ''"Sagaan"'' which takes place at the end of the religious ceremony when most guests will gift money to the wedded couple. The amount is normally £5 or £10 (about $10, normally a low value note in your local currency) each to both the groom and bride.


*8. '''Reception''': (Optional) This may be held on the same day or another day and is an evening "dinner and dance" type occasion, sometimes not too formal (please check with the party) where only invited guests from both familes can attend.
The modern alternative, which is gaining popularity is to include the money in a congratulation card and give this to the mother of the bride or groom depending on which party invited you to the wedding. Unless you take the latter route, you will need to queue up at the conclusion of the religious ceremony (sometime for over 30 minutes) to give the 'sagaan' to the bride and groom.


==See also==
==See also==


* [[Visiting a Sikh Gurdwara]]
* [[Visiting a Sikh Gurdwara]]
* [[Sikh Wedding Booklets]] - Printable information about the Anand Karaj (Sikh Wedding)
* [[Anand Karaj]]
* [[Anand Karaj]]
* [[Lavan]]
* [[Lavan]]


==External links==
==External links==
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* [http://www.sikhs.org/wedding/ Anand Karaj - A Union of Two Souls]
* [http://www.sikhs.org/wedding/ Anand Karaj - A Union of Two Souls]
* [http://www.bradfordgurdwara.com/gd0505_sikh_wedding.htm bradfordgurdwara.com] Sikh Marriage Ceremory (Anand Karaj) UK Gurdwara
* [http://www.bradfordgurdwara.com/gd0505_sikh_wedding.htm bradfordgurdwara.com] Sikh Marriage Ceremory (Anand Karaj) UK Gurdwara
* [http://prithiwedsjyot.blogspot.com/2008/01/attending-sikh-wedding.html Blog:Prithipal weds Harjyot]


===Video===
===Video===
 
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i02zZS8Uoqc Invited to a Sikh Wedding? How Sikh Weddings Are Done - Video Documentary]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnUaB3wEbJE youtube.com] Sikh wedding in the UK
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnUaB3wEbJE youtube.com] Sikh wedding in the UK
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DG_vKBoY7v8 youtube.com] Sikh wedding in the Malaysia
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DG_vKBoY7v8 youtube.com] Sikh wedding in the Malaysia
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{{nav}}
{{nav}}


[[Category:Karaj]]
[[Category:Sanskar]]
[[Category:Sikh practice]]
[[Category:Sikh practice]]

Latest revision as of 16:27, 19 April 2019

Sikh Wedding invitaion card

If you are invited to a Sikh wedding, don’t panic!

This article gives a brief guide on what to expect, what you should wear and a feel of the ceremonies that will take place. Most Sikh weddings are great fun occasions and provided that you are properly prepared, it should be a great day out!

These weddings events are big, boisterous, chaotic events, with lots of twists and turns during the day, tons of food, lots of music and much energetic dancing. You'll have a hard time figuring out what's going on; just go with the flow of things and enjoy the events. As a guest you will be honoured by the family.

A wedding day will be a long eventful and exciting affair - so be prepared to start early and finish late. Have a good rest the previous day and be fresh and relaxed for the wedding day.

As a general rule the morning and early afternoon are taken up by the religious ceremony at the Sikh temple called the Gurdwara. While, these days the afternoon lunch is held at a different venue away from the Gurdwara.

This is a departure from earlier traditions when the lunch consisted of a sumptuous vegetarian langar at the Gurdwara. There is some pressure from Sikh religious organisations for this tradition to be restored.

However, you will have a lot to take in through the day and a huge amount of rich and varied foods to consume - so be careful, take it easy!

One Soul in Two Bodies

"They are not said to be husband and wife, who merely sit together. Rather they alone are called husband and wife, who have one soul in two bodies."
(Guru Amar Das, Pauri, pg. 788 Sri Guru Granth Sahib)

Background information

The Sikh wedding ceremony is known as "Anand Karaj" which means 'Blissful Union". The Sikh marriage is a very colourful and unique ceremony in which two individuals are joined in a partnership of two equals.

It is not merely a physical and legal contract but a sacrament - a holy union between two souls. The spiritual goal of any Sikh is to merge his or her soul (atma) with God (Parmatma) and in marriage, the couple vow to help each other towards this goal.

The early part of the day is devoted to the religious ceremony which almost always takes place in a Sikh Gurdwara (Sikh temple).

What to wear

Photo showing traditional dress normally worn by Sikh couple at the "Anand Karaj" ceremony
Photo altair mahmud

If you’re invited to the formal religious ceremony and you are unable to wear a salwar kameez or sari or ethnic clothes, then bear the following in mind.

At most Sikh weddings the men will wear a western suit usually in dark colour like blue, brown, grey, some might even choose to wear a lighter colour such as lime, beige, etc. Some men will wear traditional Punjabi or ethnic clothing. Most women will wear traditional Punjabi dress in bright colours the preferred being blue, orange, brown, green, multi-colours, pink, etc.

Dress sense

  • Modest dress is the order of the day; bare shoulders, plunging necklines and short skirts will be out of place at a religious venue but will be fine for the reception which normally does not take place in the Gurdwara. Some ladies prefer to take a shawl that they can throw over their shoulders, and wear pants to the Gurdwara and then wear a skirt to the reception. That way your outfit is acceptable at both venues.
  • For the religious part of the ceremony, you will need to sit on the carpeted floor. You will be expected to sit cross-legged or otherwise on the floor for at least 45 minutes and this will prove difficult in tight or short clothing, so dress accordingly.

Colours to wear It is a tradition in Sikh culture to wear vibrant and joyous colours to such occasions. You will witness bright reds, radiant blues, deep green and a huge mixture of these and others colours among the ladies. Although, it is better to avoid pure white and black at the actual religious ceremony there is nothing sacrosanct, but you may feel a little out of place in some situations. It is easier for men - they may get away with a black suit at the religious ceremony. Dark colours for men may be OK.

Bright colours are certainly considered most auspicious at Asian weddings functions; pastels are also acceptable, especially in the summer. Try not to wear bright red as this is traditionally reserved for the bride and you wouldn’t want to outshine her on her special day!

The Bride & Groom

The bride is dressed in traditional shalwar and kameez or langa (a blouse and loose trousers or long skirt). A heavy gold-embroidered shawl (chunni or dupatta) covers her head. The groom is generally dressed in traditional shirt and trousers and he wears a red or dark pink turban and carries a coloured scarf (pulla).

In the Gurdwara

Photo showing non-Sikhs dressed to attend a Sikh wedding ceremony

Covering the head

At a Sikh wedding you will be require to cover your head when you are in the Gurdwara (temple). Carry a long scarf or a pashmina stole, which can also be used to cover up bare shoulders or arms, if necessary. Men usually wear the head covering provided at the temple or carry a large white or coloured handkerchief to place over their head.

Removing shoes

Also at the religious places you will be required to take off your shoes and place them in the designated space before you enter the sanctified area. While some places may require you to be barefooted, usually wearing socks or stockings is acceptable.

However, it is possible to attend just the formal religious wedding itself or just the lunch and gathering in the afternoon. Check with the host to clarify the exact programme.

The Wedding day protocol

The day usually starts early for the "Barat" which is the term used for the Groom’s side or the party of people accompanying the Groom.

Arrival at Gurdwara

  • 1. Departure of Barat: (Barat is "the Grooms side") The Barat will leave from the Groom's house to go to the Gurdwara usually near the Bride's house, where the actual wedding will take place. The arrangements for the rest of the day are normally made entirely by the Bride's family. However, some of this is now changing.

If the groom lives far from the bride's house, the Barat may depart early in the morning. It is common for the Barat to set off from the groom's house at 8am. The Barat will then travel to the local area where the bride lives.

  • 2. Reception of Barat: The Groom's party is "received" by the Bride's party at the Gurdwara. This usually takes place at about 9.30am.
  • 3. Milnea: (means "Introductions") The Ardas will be performed by the priest (Giani) followed by the formal introductions of the families. This will include the bride's & groom's father, grandfather and Mama - (mother's brother). They will formally meet, exchange garlands (and gifts) and have their photographs taken. This normally takes place in the foyer area of the Gurdwara at about 10am.
  • 4. Tea: Tea with savouries (normally samosa, pakoras) and sweets (generally jalebis, ladoos and barfi) will be served and are normally taken standing at tables in the Langar hall at the Sikh temple (Gurdwara). Chairs are seldom provided in the Gurdwara unless the person is elderly or otherwise unable to stand for any length of time. Both the Groom's side and Bride's sides will take tea in turn and this should be concluded at about 10.30am.

Main Ceremony

The Couple slowing walking clockwise around the Guru Granth Sahib
  • This is the formal part of the ceremony which always takes place in a Gurdwara. After tea, by about 11am, everyone proceeds into the Darbar sahib or main prayer hall. Please observe the rules applicable which are described at Visiting a Gurdwara. Also described here is the type of clothing that should be worn.
  • Please note that you will be required to remove your shoes and cover your head in an appropriate manner before entering the main hall. Proceed into the darbar sahib paying attention to and observing the etiquette appropriate in the Darbar Hall. Always show respect to the Guru Granth Sahib as the Guru is held in high esteem by the Sikhs.
  • Once in the main hall, you will be expected to sit on the carpeted floor for at least 45 minutes. It is essential that suitable clothing be worn. The formal part of the wedding ceremony normally starts at about 11am and ends at about 1pm and comprises of the following functions:
  • a. Kirtan - The singing of the Holy Hymns - Gurbani. As you enter the darbar hall, musical singing of sacred hymns from the holy scriptures will already be taking place. The Kirtaini jatha (religious singers) will be seated on a stage in front of the hall next to the central stage of the Guru. The Guru Granth Sahib will be attended by a Sewadar (volunteer Sikh) or Giani (priest) who will be waving a Chaur over the Guru. After several Shabads (hymns) have been sang, the priest (Giani) or the stage secretary will announce the timetable for the formal part of the Anand Karaj ceremony in the darbar hall.
  • b. Ardas – Key People (Bride, groom, both parents of bride and groom) will stand straight with folded hands and join in this prayer.
  • c. Palla - The bride's father will formally hand the end of the sash, which the bridegroom wears over his shoulder into the hands of the bride. At the same time the shabad "Palla tanda lagee" is sung by the Kirtania jatha (musicians).
  • c. Laava – The Bride and Groom will walk in tow around the SGGS four times at the set intervals. First the priest will read a Laav (one of four) from the Guru Granth Sahib; then the musicians will sing the same laav while the Bride and Groom will circle the Guru in a clockwise direction.
  • d. Ardas – All the congregation will stand and join in the ardas followed by Hukamnama.
  • e. Sagaan – The parents of the Bride and Groom, followed by key people and the congregation will bless the newly wedded and give gifts or money and have photos taken.
  • f. Kara Parshad – Blessed "Sweet pudding" is served. This ends the formal part of the Sikh wedding ceremony.

The Party and Closing

  • 6. Lunch: Previously this used to be Langar at the Gurdwara but now it is lunch at a commercial venue. When held in a commercial venue, it is like a normal "dinner & dance" type of event. Loud "Bhangra" music is played and, perhaps, even alcohol and meat may be served!
  • 7. Departure of Doli: The bride changes into new clothes that are presented to her by the groom's family. She then departs from her parent's house (a very sad and touching occasion).
  • 8. Reception: (Optional) This may be held on the same day or on another day and is an evening "dinner and dance" type occasion, sometimes not too formal (please check with the party) where only invited guests from both familes can attend.

Other concerns

Gifts, Sagaan, etc

It is not normal for the guests to take gifts for the Bride or Groom unless you are a very close relative. There is a ceremony called "Sagaan" which takes place at the end of the religious ceremony when most guests will gift money to the wedded couple. The amount is normally £5 or £10 (about $10, normally a low value note in your local currency) each to both the groom and bride.

The modern alternative, which is gaining popularity is to include the money in a congratulation card and give this to the mother of the bride or groom depending on which party invited you to the wedding. Unless you take the latter route, you will need to queue up at the conclusion of the religious ceremony (sometime for over 30 minutes) to give the 'sagaan' to the bride and groom.

See also

External links

Video

References

  • All photos courtesy of Flickr.com


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