Anand Karaj

The Sikh wedding ceremony, literally translated as "Blissful occasion." The Laava, or four stanzas, are read and then sung to formalize Sikh marriages.

This is the name given to the Sikh religious wedding ceremony which almost always takes place in a Gurdwara. The Sikh marriage arrangement offers a way to bring family support into the lives of the couple if they require it. Guru Ram Das, the third Guru of the Sikhs has given a formula for a successful marriage in the form of four rounds or Laava. These four Shabads, describe the sacred journey of the soul through this world to the merging with the infinite. If one follows this sacred path and applies it properly to marriage, it results in happiness and fulfilment – Anand (Bliss).

This ceremony demands a bit more from the couple than is normally expected. The Sikh Scriptures advice us that:

SGGS page 788

ਮ: ੩ ॥ mehlaa 3. Third Mehl:

ਧਨ ਪਿਰ੝ ਝਹਿ ਨ ਆਖੀਅਨਿ ਬਹਨਿ ਇਕਠੇ ਹੋਇ ॥
Dhan pir ayhi na aakhee-an bahan ikthay ho-ay.
They are not said to be husband and wife, who merely sit together.

ਝਕ ਜੋਤਿ ਦ੝ਇ ਮੂਰਤੀ ਧਨ ਪਿਰ੝ ਕਹੀਝ ਸੋਇ ॥੩॥
ayk jot du-ay moortee Dhan pir kahee-ai so-ay. ((3))
They alone are called husband and wife, who have one light in two bodies. ((3))

So, it is clear that the couple are only said to be married if they can portray that there is only "one light" in the two bodies.

The following are other important points that must be adhered to by the Sikh couple and their families:

Both partners must be Sikhs.
Marriage is a partnership of equals.
No consideration is to be given to Caste, Social Status, Race or lineage.
No Dowry is allowed.
No day is considered holier than any other; No astrological considerations are to be made; No superstitions are to be observed in fixing the date of the wedding.
The religious ceremony to take place in a Gurdwara or home of the Bride in the presence of Guru Granth Sahib.
The religious ceremony must NOT take place in a hotel, wedding palace or Banqueting Hall.
Burden of the cost of the wedding to be shared as equally as possible.

These days, the selection of the partners is left predominantly to the couple – with the families acting as supportive introduction service. However, in the past, the selection of the partners was left completely to the parents and other senior family members. This trend has slowly changed and communities will have varying attitudes to the selection process. Although, the ultimate choice of partners is always left to the would-be bride and groom, most couples will seek their parents consent and blessing.

The arrangements for the wedding are almost undertaken by the parents of the couple, with the bride's side footing a larger slice of the total bill. The Anand Karaj ceremony is joyous and festive event in which families and friends from both sides are heavily involved. The atmosphere is informal and lively. Most Sikh wedding take place in the morning but there are no restrictions as to what time the ceremony should start or end. The religious part of the ceremony last about 1 to 3 hours, depending on how important the families feel this is to their lives. The wedding however will last for the whole day and may spill into the next day.

Most families combine the wedding ceremony with the engagement ceremony called the "Kurmai", where the Kurmai is held just before the wedding vows or Laava. The engagement ceremony can also be held as a separate event on a different day. It is usually conducted in the Gurdwara or at the home of the Groom-to-be. It involves Ardas, Kirtan , "Saagan" (Exchange of gifts) and Langar. In the "Saagan" ceremony, the groom is presented him with a kara, kirpan, Indian sweets, fruits dried fruits and nuts. They brides family in turn are presented with garments and sweets for the Bride-to-be.

The Laava

The Four Rounds

The main part of the Anand Karaj is the reading and then the singing of each laav in turn. When the Laav is sung, the couple as a pair joint by a piece of cloth circle the SGGS. This has relevance to the occasion and should not be considered a ritual without meaning. When the couple circle the SGGS each time they making a commitment to God with the Guru as witness. And as one circles the Sri Guru Granth Sahib you are reminded that the Guru should be the center of your life, from which springs your spiritual guidance and understanding that you required for your souls long journey across this world ocean. The Sri Guru Granth Sahib is the center and the Sadh Sangat is your witness and worldly support.

The four nuptial rounds were written by Guru Ram Das for his own wedding. In them he tells us that the first commitment is for one to be true to one's own soul, to be committed to righteousness, be on the spiritual path and communicate with the soul through personal spiritual practice.

Then he tells the couple that they have met the True Guru, they can get out of their ego identification and sacrifice to the unity, to the merger, and rise above their personalities and judgements. Commit to the institution of marriage as part of one’s spiritual path.

Next, he or she tells the couple that they have been blessed to be a part of the Sadh Sangat, and that their lives should be an example of service and divinity to all around them, to fulfil the great destiny they have been given.

Finally, the Guru says that the merger has taken place with the Infinite, because one has followed his advice. Each has inspired the other towards that merger.

Summary of Procedure

Departure of Barat and Reception of Barat
Milnea (means "Introductions")
Tea
Main Wedding Ceremony (Anand Karaj)
1. Kirtan
2. Groom and then Bride come to the front
3. Ardas & Speech by Giani
4. Kirtan - Keetaa loree-ai kam.
5. Palaa. Palaa and Shabad
6. Laava – 4 rounds where Granthi read and then Kirtaineea Sing.
7. Final Kirtan & Speech
8. Ardas – All the congregation
9. Sagaan
10. Kara Parshad – Blessed "Sweet pudding" is served.
Lunch
Departure of Doli
Reception (Optional)