Lust Control

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ਰੇ ਮਨ ਗਹਿਲੇ ਬਾਵਲੇ ਮਾਣਹਿ ਕਿਆ ਰਲੀਆਂ ॥੫੫॥
रे मन गहिले बावले माणहि किआ रलीआं ॥५५॥
ray man gahilay baavlay maaneh ki-aa ralee-aaN. ||55||
O my thoughtless and insane mind, why are you indulging in pleasures?
||55||(Sheikh Farid)


It is one of the greatest evils that tempts people away from God. It makes an individual weak-willed and unreliable. The normal sexual relationship of house-holders (a married couple) is not restricted in any way in Sikhism. But sex outside of marriage or sex forced against the will of ones partner is taboo, as it can cause unlimited sorrows.

ਸ੝ਣਿ ਸ੝ਣਿ ਕਾਮ ਗਹੇਲੀਝ ਕਿਆ ਚਲਹਿ ਬਾਹ ਲ੝ਡਾਇ ॥
सढ़णि सढ़णि काम गहेलीझ किआ चलहि बाह लढ़डाइ ॥
sun sun kaam gahaylee-ay ki-aa chaleh baah ludaa-ay.
Listen, listen, Oh, soul-bride: you are overtaken by
sexual desire-why do you walk like that, swinging your arms in joy?
(Page 37, Line 18) Guru Amar Das)
ਅਹਿਨਿਸਿ ਕਾਮਿ ਵਿਆਪਿਆ ਵਣਜਾਰਿਆ ਮਿਤ੝ਰਾ ਅੰਧ੝ਲੇ ਨਾਮ੝ ਨ ਚਿਤਿ ॥
अहिनिसि कामि विआपिआ वणजारिआ मितढ़रा अंधढ़ले नामढ़ न चिति ॥
ahinis kaam vi-aapi-aa vanjaari-aa mitraa anDhulay naam na chit.
Day and night, you are engrossed in sexual desire,
O my merchant friend, and your consciousness is blind to the Naam.
(Guru Nanak Dev page 75 line 16)
ਉਛਲਿਆ ਕਾਮ੝ ਕਾਲ ਮਤਿ ਲਾਗੀ ਤਉ ਆਨਿ ਸਕਤਿ ਗਲਿ ਬਾਂਧਿਆ ॥੨॥
उछलिआ कामढ़ काल मति लागी तउ आनि सकति गलि बांधिआ ॥२॥
uchhli-aa kaam kaal mat laagee ta-o aan sakat gal baaNDhi-aa.
You are overflowing with sexual desire, and your intellect
is stained with darkness; you are held in the grip of Shakti's power.
||2|| (Bhagat Baini page 93 line 7)
ਅਵਰ ਮਰਤ ਮਾਇਆ ਮਨ੝ ਤੋਲੇ ਤਉ ਭਗ ਮ੝ਖਿ ਜਨਮ੝ ਵਿਗੋਇਆ ॥੩॥
अवर मरत माइआ मनढ़ तोले तउ भग मढ़खि जनमढ़ विगोइआ ॥३॥
avar marat maa-i-aa man tolay ta-o bhag mukh janam vigo-i-aa.
When others die, you measure your own wealth in your mind;
you waste your life in the pleasures of the mouth and sexual organs.
||3|| (Devotee Baini page 93 line 10)
Your eyebrows are like a bow, from which the arrows of lust are
coming out and striking us like the dagger
Dasam Granth Page 703, Line 1


The loss of virginity can be viewed as a milestone to be proud of or as a failure to be ashamed of (particularly if a lack of self control was involved), depending on cultural perceptions. These perceptions were heavily influenced by perceived gender roles, such that for a male the association was more often with pride and for a female the association was more often with shame. But today women feel pride about this not in western culture but in other countries too. [This viewpoint may be subjective]. In Sikhism, sexual activity occurs only between married individuals. Before marriage it is ill-advised, as it has a high potential of being an indulgence of kaam( lust or extreme sexual desire). Virginity is important aspect of spirituality and everyone must attempt to preserve it before marriage, or when one is ready to move into another sacred state of being with their significant other.

ਜਾਂ ਕ੝ਆਰੀ ਤਾ ਚਾਉ ਵੀਵਾਹੀ ਤਾਂ ਮਾਮਲੇ ॥
jaaN ku-aaree taa chaa-o veevaahee taaN maamlay
When she is a virgin, she is full of desire; but when she is married,  then her troubles begin.

ਫਰੀਦਾ  ਝਹੋ  ਪਛੋਤਾਉ  ਵਤਿ  ਕ੝ਆਰੀ  ਨ  ਥੀਝ  ॥੬੩॥
फरीदा झहो पछोताउ वति कढ़आरी न थीझ ॥६३॥
fareedaa ayho pachhotaa-o vat ku-aaree na thee-ai. ||63||
Fareed, she has this one regret, that she cannot be a virgin again. ||63||
(Page 1381, Line 5/6 Sheikh Farid)


ਖਿੰਥਾ  ਕਾਲ੝  ਕ੝ਆਰੀ  ਕਾਇਆ  ਜ੝ਗਤਿ  ਡੰਡਾ  ਪਰਤੀਤਿ  ॥
खिंथा कालढ़ कढ़आरी काइआ जढ़गति डंडा परतीति ॥
khinthaa kaal ku-aaree kaa-i-aa jugat dandaa parteet.
Let the remembrance of death be the patched coat you wear, let the purity of
virginity be your way in the world, and let faith in the Lord be your walking stick. 
Guru Nanak Dev(Page 6 Line 16)



Sikhs should not watch porn. these things keep you away from not only spiritual life but also effect your normal life. These makes you masturbative and you will loose your virginity all this falls under part of kam. You are watching for internal pleasure. This is banned for sikhs.

The businessmen of the porn industry know that Kaam(lust) is the main evil which is in every human being they take support of this evil and makes you kami. They earn money through kam And can destroy your life through it.

ਤੀਜੈ ਝਾਖ ਝਖਾਇਆ ਚਉਥੈ ਭੋਰ੝ ਭਇਆ ॥
तीजै झाख झखाइआ चउथै भोरढ़ भइआ ॥
teejai jhaakh jhakhaa-i-aa cha-uthai bhor bha-i-aa.
In the third, they babble nonsense, and when the fourth 
watch comes,  the day of death has arrived.
Guru Arjan Page 43 line 12)
ਅਗਿਆਨ ਮਤੀ ਅੰਧੇਰ੝ ਹੈ ਬਿਨ੝ ਪਿਰ ਦੇਖੇ ਭ੝ਖ ਨ ਜਾਇ ॥
अगिआन मती अंधेरढ़ है बिनढ़ पिर देखे भढ़ख न जाइ ॥
agi-aan matee anDhayr hai bin pir daykhay bhukh na jaa-ay.
In the darkness of intellectual ignorance, she cannot 
see her Husband,  and her hunger does not depart.
Guru amardas page 38 line 5

Many things are written in guru granth sahib regarding this. If you don't have self control go towards guru granth sahib and do ardas from the depth of your heart. Waheguru will definitely show you the way.


HOW TO GET RID of all this

1. Wisdom (gyan) : is the complete knowledge of a set of religious principles. It can be achieved by hearing good, thinking good and doing good. A man of wisdom tries to achieve a high moral standard in his life and interaction with others. According to Sikhism, the first steps to wisdom is to consider oneself as an ignorant person who has to learn a lot in life.

2. Truthful Living (sat) : This is more than 'truth'. It means living according to the way of God i.e. the thoughts should match the words that a person speaks and his actions should also match his words. Truthful living brings a person closer to God.

3. Justice (niaon) : means freedom and equal opportunities for all. Respect for the rights of others and strict absence of attempts to exploit a fellow being. Sikhism forbids the desire to loot another's property. It also strictly instructs the Sikhs to show respect even for the women and children of an enemy.

4. Temperance (santokh) : means self control which has to be developed through meditation and prayers. A Sikh has to banish evil thoughts from his mind by constantly repeating Gods name and reciting prayers. Torture to the body to develop self-control is not advocated in Sikhism

5. Patience (dhiraj) : implies a high level of tolerance and empathy for others. It requires control over ones ego and willingness to overlook another's weakness or mistakes. It requires that a Sikh should be strong willed, but kind hearted.

6. Courage (himmat) : means bravery i.e. absence of fear. It is the ability to stake ones life for ones convictions and for saving others from injustice or cruelty.

7. Humility (namarta) : is a deliberate denial of pleasure at one's own praise and admiration. It means underplaying ones own strengths and respecting the abilities of others. It is the antidote to 'ahankar'

8. Contentment (sabar) : means refraining from worldly fears and submitting oneself to the will of God. The typical worldly fears can be fear of death, poverty, disrespect and defeat. It is this virtue that has given the Sikhs the moral strength to withstand the various atrocities committed on their community in the last three centuries.

at gurus time, Guru gobind singh said abt sikhs -

ਜ੝ੱਧ ਜਿਤੇ ਇਨ ਹੀ ਕੇ ਪ੝ਰਸਾਦਿ ਇਨ ਹੀ ਕੇ ਪ੝ਰਸਾਦਿ ਸ੝ ਦਾਨ ਕਰੇ ॥ 
ਅਘ ਅਉਘ ਟਰੈ ਇਨ ਹੀ ਕੇ ਪ੝ਰਸਾਦਿ ਇਨ ਹੀ ਕ੝ਰਿਪਾ ਫ੝ਨ ਧਾਮ ਭਰੇ ॥
जढ़ढ़ध जिते इन ही के पढ़रसादि इन ही के पढ़रसादि सढ़ दान करे ॥ 
अघ अउघ टरै इन ही के पढ़रसादि इन ही कढ़रिपा फढ़न धाम भरे ॥
By the kindness of these Sikhs, I have conquered the wars and 
also by their kindness, I have bestowed charities; 
by their kindness the clusters on sins have been destroyed and 
by their kindness my house is full of wealth and materials;

What are you giving to gurus know blady kaam, krofh lobh moh & hankaar. How can u think that guru is with you. If you leave all this then guru says

o sahib main us daa chela

lets bid before god and ask sorry to him -

“O my Master. I am silly, save me, 0 my Lord-God!
Thy slave’s praise in thine own glory!” (AG, 166)