Anger or tolerance: Difference between revisions

Many times during our lives we are faced with situations where we can become angry and stressed or we can face the situation head-on in a positive way. These are two options that we are all faced with almost daily in our normal routines. Someone drives out of a side street without due consideration; the person in front of you let go of the door right in your face; you get home and there is no milk for your tea – the list is endless!

When there is a mishap in your life, you have a choice – You can get angry, go wild, even react with force and negativity or you can calm yourself down and return someone's anger or thoughtlessness with kindness or not react to such mishaps at all. You can choose to deal with such incidents in a positive non-reactive manner, by saying “accidents will happen! Now let see how we can fix this.”

Gurbani tells us to keep away from anger, greed, ego, lust and deep attachment, which together are called the five evils. Regarding anger and lust (or excessive desire), the Guru has warned us very frequently in the holy granth. The famous line from Guru Granth Sahib -

Short story

This is a story of a small happy family living in a city where life is really hectic. The family consists of a little girl and her parents.

Now to understand how we can choose the way we live, we have to imagine two different scenarios. The beginning of the scene is that of a breakfast table where the father is in a hurry to rush to the office and he also has to drop his daughter to school. He is late for work and so he is rushing things so that he can get to the office in time. A common scene in most cities of the world!

Now what happens in his hurry, the coffee mug lying on the table falls on his shirt because the little girl was in the way. Now he has a choice of how he deals with this situation. Lets consider the options of the way in which he can react to this mishap.

Scenario 1

The most common option is that the father shouts at the girl badly and scolds her mother saying don’t know where to put a cup, etc.etc., as he rushes to change his shirt. Now, even later and stressed to the max, he's so angry he doesn’t even say goodbye to his wife and he literally throws his daughter into the car. He drives wildly and drops his daughter at her school without a hug or kiss. He gets to the office, slams a door or two and barks at his fellow workers creating tension with the rest of the staff.

His whole day is ruined; he comes back home and his wife and daughter, fearful of setting him off, don’t talk to him and he goes to sleep with a lot of worries, stress and tension, which were all created by him, because he let his temper run wild, ruining his day and increasing the distance between himself and his family.

Result - His whole day and night was ruined, started by one moment of ANGER. Not to mention the feelings and reactions of his wife, daughter and fellow employees who could have keep this 'chain of anger' going.

Scenario 2

Now in this scene, the father has managed to control his anger i.e. he has rectified his mistake. He stays calm and controlled. He politely ask his daughter to be careful next time and goes quickly to change his shirt. Then he says goodbye to his wife and drops his daughter to the school with a hug and kiss. He gets to the office completely forgetting the incident at home and has a good day at work. When he comes back home he is welcomed with a kiss from his daughter and wife.

Result - His whole day and night was filled with love and peace, just because he remained calm and tolerant.

Hope this can help to change your attitude and destiny....Waheguru