Sikhi on masturbating

Masturbation is mostly seen during the adolescence period as this is the period when the newly discovered natural sexual sensations of the body first need to be satisfied; as the person may not have a partner, one of the options available is to resort to masturbation. It is a function which provides self pleasure (sexual pleasure using ones own or others hands i.e without penile - vag|nal penetration).

Gurbani does not address this topic directly but various passages deal with sexual desire, with lust, with the concept of thinking about sex, etc. Masturbation usually occurs as a result of kam/lust/sexual desire and maximum comes when mind is empty. If there is no sexual desire in one's mind, it is unlikely that the person would resort to masturbation. The action of masturbation is sparked off due to sexual thoughts in one's mind. Sexual thoughts if unchecked can lead to this type of activity. Masturbation is not Bujjer Kurehit but it is not spoken as part of Rehat.

Gurbani

Below are quotations from the Guru Granth Sahib which address the issues relating to sex and sexual desire (Kam) and other such topics. It is clear from these verses that the need to check one's sexual desire is a necessary requirement of a Sikh.

Thieves of the mind and body

This tuk below tells us that within the body and mind are present "thieves" like sexual desire:

It can be seen from this shabad that these thieves are a natural phenomena; the presence of sexual thoughts and desires is a function that is present in the minds of most people. If unchecked, these thieves will overpower the person's mind and consequently, the person's spiritual evolution will be sacrificed. If the thief of sexual desire is not restrained, it will leads to masturbation.

Naam is far but other tastes seem sweet

In this Shabad, the Guru tells us that if one does not control the mind, the mind can get engrossed in various worldly desires like sexual desire and if this is allowed to dominate the mind, it will lead to the person becoming blind to Naam, the name of the Lord.

As a result, the person will develop a taste for worldly enjoyments and forget about God, the Creator and Provider.

Abandoning ones life partner

In the following Shabads, the Guru clarifies the need to restrain ones sexual relations to just ones partner and not to allow your thoughts to wonder outside the one and only sexual relationship that is allowed in Sikhism.

Painful diseases

The Guru states that promiscuous behavior will bring painful diseases to the person.

Other Gurbani

ਬੂਝੀ ਤ੝ਰਿਸਨਾ ਸਹਜਿ ਸ੝ਹੇਲਾ ਕਾਮ੝ ਕ੝ਰੋਧ੝ ਬਿਖ੝ ਜਾਰੋ ॥

बूझी तढ़रिसना सहजि सढ़हेला कामढ़ कढ़रोधढ़ बिखढ़ जारो ॥
boojhee tarisnaa sahj suhaylaa kaam kroDh bikh jaaro.
My thirst is quenched, and I have been intuitively embellished.
The poisons of sexual desire and anger have been burnt away.

Guru Arjan Dev(Ang 1215, line 2)

Masturbation not only burns your spiritual life but fails to provide any long term satisfaction for the mind. The Guru tells us that the thirst of the mind and body cannot be quenched by worldly pleasures; these are "poisons" and so best subdued and controlled as far as possible.

Common views on Masturbation - Mark E. Petersen

The following is a section which is not supported by Gurbani but is provided to provide the "common" view about this issue:

Suggestions

1. Pray daily, ask for the gifts of the Spirit, that which will strengthen you against temptation. Pray frequently and out loud when the temptations are the strongest.

2. Follow a program of vigorous daily exercise. The exercises reduce emotional tension and depression and are absolutely basic to the solution of this problem. Double your physical activity when you feel stress increasing.

3. When the temptation to masturbate is strong, yell STOP to those thoughts as loudly as you can in your mind and then recite a prechosen Scripture or sing an inspirational hymn. It is important to turn your thoughts away from the selfish need to indulge.

4. Set goals of abstinence, begin with a day, then a week, month, year and finally commit to never doing it again. Until you commit yourself to _never again_ you will always be open to temptation.

5. Change in behavior and attitude is most easily achieved through a changed self-image. Spend time every day imagining yourself strong and in control, easily overcoming tempting situations.

6. Begin to work daily on a self-improvement program. Relate this plan to improving your Church service, to improving your relationships with your family, God and others. Strive to enhance your strengths and talents.

7. Be outgoing and friendly. Force yourself to be with others and learn to enjoy working and talking to them. Use principles of developing friendships found in books such as How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.

8. Be aware of situations that depress you or that cause you to feel lonely, bored, frustrated or discouraged. These emotional states can trigger the desire to masturbate as a way of escape. Plan in advance to counter these low periods through various activities, such as reading a book, visiting a friend, doing something athletic, etc.

9. Make a pocket calendar for a month on a small card. Carry it with you, but show it to no one. If you have a lapse of self control, color the day black. Your goal will be to have no black days. The calendar becomes a strong visual reminder of self control and should be looked at when you are tempted to add another black day. Keep your calendar up until you have at least three clear months.

10. A careful study will indicate you have had the problem at certain times and under certain conditions. Try and recall, in detail, what your particular times and conditions were. Now that you understand how it happens, plan to break the pattern through counter activities.

11. In the field of psychotherapy there is a very effective technique called aversion therapy. When we associate or think of something very distasteful with something which has been pleasurable, but undesirable, the distasteful thought and feeling will begin to cancel out that which was pleasurable. If you associate something very distasteful with your loss of self-control it will help you to stop the act. For example, if you are tempted to masturbate, think of having to bathe in a tub of worms, and eating several of them as you do the act.

12. During your toileting and shower activities leave the bathroom door or shower curtain partly open, to discourage being alone in total privacy. Take cool brief showers.

13. Arise immediately in the mornings. Do not lie in bed awake, no matter what time of day it is. Get up and do something. Start each day with an enthusiastic activity.

14. Keep your bladder empty. Refrain from drinking large amounts of fluids before retiring.

15. Reduce the amount of spices and condiments in your food. Eat as lightly as possible at night.

16. Wear pajamas that are difficult to open, yet loose and not binding.

17. Avoid people, situations, pictures or reading materials that might create sexual excitement.

18. It is sometimes helpful to have a physical object to use in overcoming this problem. A Book of Mormon, firmly held in hand, even in bed at night has proven helpful in extreme cases.

19. In very severe cases it may be necessary to tie a hand to the bed frame with a tie in order that the habit of masturbating in a semi-sleep condition can be broken. This can also be accomplished by wearing several layers of clothing which would be difficult to remove while half asleep.

20. Set up a reward system for your successes. It does not have to be a big reward. A quarter in a receptacle each time you overcome or reach a goal. Spend it on something which delights you and will be a continuing reminder of your progress.

21. Do not let yourself return to any past habit or attitude patterns which were part of your problem. Satan never gives up. Be calmly and confidently on guard. Keep a positive mental attitude. You can win this fight! The joy and strength you will feel when you do will give your whole life a radiant and spiritual glow of satisfaction and fulfillment.

See also

• Guru Granth Sahib against lust
• Kam
• Five evils

External links

• Wikipedia
• What is masturbation?
• [Top 10 Fact Sheet on Masturbation
• MASTURBATION a scientific paper
• Steps in Overcoming Masturbation