Modern Sikh Girls: Difference between revisions

These are words that were uttered by the founder of Sikhism, Sri Guru Nanak Dev in about 1499. So for Sikhs from that period, there has been compulsion to treat women as equals and gender discrimination was not allowed. Guru Gobind Singh's also confirmed the equality by saying the line "Manas Kee Jaat Sabhey Ekey Pehchanboo" - "Regard all of human race as one".

The following are some of the facts that one finds in modern type of Sikh men.

Some comments by Sikh girls?:

• Misuse of equality? See, this is what frustrates me also. As a Sikh girl in the UK, I'm still in school and im at the stage where I question everything....

If Sikh men...can drink...why cant Sikh women? Sikhs are the most notorious drinkers!! its a fact!! If a man drinks so can his wife. If the man doesn't want his wife to drink he should stop also.

• and a girl can do what a guy can do! Sikh girls are the daughters of Dhan Dhan Sri Guru Gobind Singh Ji Maharaj, they too have the spirit of a lion within them. people should not forget that! I hate being told that i cant do something when the implication of the reasoning is that im a girl, and if i was a boy i would be allowed to!

• the day sikh boys learn to treat women with more respect, and show some admiration towards girls who conduct themselves with dignity is the day sikh girls wont feel the need to expose themselves.

It works both ways!

I am a canadian woman from British Columbia. My father is Sikh, my mom Jewish, my grandparents Janist and hindu in one set, and Russian Orthadox and Jew in the other. My family has a fair bit of religious diversity from wiccans and catholics to atheists. Many years ago I did study sociology and psychology. I was raised neither Sikh nor Jewish in the typical north american style of go to church for people getting married or funerals which often they had at christian churches despite their views because at the time there weren't always temples or churches for their own beliefs around.

I admit I am new to Sikhism as I didn't get much exposure as a child. But by what I have read if they believe in equality what is the problem? Men go topless sometimes or showing their chest. I have no intention of doing that though a woman in a city I used to live in challenged it and won the right in Maple Ridge, BC, Canada. I see nothing wrong with us wearing gender neutral cloths. I have seen some women with turbans though it is not so common here. I have seen men wear kilts and other things North American's would call "dresses" which are historical mens traditional clothing. Most of us I think are aware of how we dress. If I wear a sari it doesn't mean I'm being a seductress, etc. To me I am just wearing a sari and I like the way it looks. Its others jumping to conclusions perhaps because they aren't used to the style of dress. Is wearing a two piece bathing suit making you a person asking for trouble? I don't think so some men wear speedo's. Frankly I find those vulgar as they leave nothing tot he imagination and just don't look so great. But that is my personal opinion and I'm not going to be mean to a man for it. As for me I wear a one peice or a tank ini which is a tank that covers your mid section and a skirt like bottom. Its what I like and I know I don't look good in a bikini. When we came into this world we were nude with no regard for clothing unless we felt cold. Because it is cold out we are likely to leave this world clothed. Children are a clean slate without judgment which they form with life experience and mentoring. It isn't until we stigmatize the human body and sexualize it that it takes on that form. If we view it simply as a body that comes in all shapes and sizes, that allows us to reproduce, create, survive, etc then we do not see it as evil. It is man passing judgement that gives us conclusions that it is bad to be naked. Most of us don't walk around naked because it is too cold for it and impracticable. You can get hurt if your exposed so we cover ourselves for practical reasons. Greek statues are a homage to the state we enter into this world. Innocent and unassuming until we apply our own prejudices to it. For example do you view a doctor as lewd for asking you to expose your body so they can assess a problem? No they are not sexualizing you they are being matter of fact. So next time you look at man or woman and come to your conclusions ask if you are being objective and rational.

As we all know some sikh's cut their hair and some don't. Oh wait that is wrong. Lets be honest you all do even those that wear turbans and long braids. You trim your hair. My aunt grew her hair to about 2 inches above her ankle and her daughter let it go all the way to her bottom. It is indeed long but you do cut it. You say it needs to be trim or kept in a state where it wont become dirty by hitting the floor, etc. So before any of you get nasty on the hair issue remember that. Also the prohibition specifically said cutting hair. From what I have read it doesn't translate as anything besides cutting. This means waxing, electrolosis, and threading is no problem because it pulls hair. Now if you say it comments we should not kill hair. Hair is already dead so pulling it is not killing it. Hair is dead skin cells so is it alive or dead? Since this site wont let me enter the link. Search on Google for "Is hair dead skin" then look at the answers. I had originally pasted a link to Yahoo Answers which does clearly state hair is dead skin cells.

Aggressive stance? I have seen nothing that indicates that women aren't supposed to carry a dagger, and protect family. I don't think men or women are aggressive normally unless provoked or giving the illusion of it by playing around, joking, or acting. If you stand up to someone it isn't aggressive. You might call it that but it doesn't make it true. Doesn't it say we are to defend ourselves and our families?

Now for drinking and drugs. I thought in general it says we should do neither. So if men are drinking as someone mentions they are already violating the rules. As someone points out on one spot I read. Sikh's do not have sin only betterment. So perhaps they should try dealcholized products. I've tried fake wine and cider it is quite good but no alcohol. I don't smoke but I do have incense that I use occasionally(still makes smoke that is inhaled).

I agree that it says we are equal so why can't someone do something based on ability not on gender? Of course men can not carry and have babies in the same sense. But there is no reason why a man can not be a stay at home dad or have babies through adoption or fostercare. There is no reason a woman can't do a construction job or any of the old stereotyped male jobs. I think "you can't do that because your a girl" is a statement that should be a thing of the past. So is the comment that "boys don't do that you must be gay or something" is also out of line and just rude. We are not a sexual orientation or a gender. We are people. Some of us have a gift to offer in some area to our fellow man or nature. Telling them they can't do that due to gender or orientation is a very sad thing. What doe we all loose because of peoples discouragement?

As for respect it goes both ways. One of my half sisters and my mom are pretty awful in how they treat men. They view them as weak and as items to be used. I'm ashamed of them and their behavior. I have a half brother who is a misogynistic jerk. I similarly am ashamed of his attitude problem. - Saroja

Killing Hair

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Main article: Uncut Hairs

"Kesh" is one of the five kakkars of Sikhism. In Sikhism to cut hair is considered a sin and by doing so is called Patit. Today girls believe in artificial look. They want to give their own look by cutting hair in different styles. Kanga is provided to set up the hair and keep them clean but in vain. Thus they are disobeying the Guru's order.

Main article: Human Hair

Many people disobey Guru's order. But there is no actual sin in Sikhism; only self improvement. Sin implies penance.... penance is like, paying for a sin. I'm just going to make up an example here...... erm, if your a Christian and you commit a sin, and you visit the priest; the priest may says "go to this church and climb up and down the stairs this many times and your sin will be forgiven"<< that is penance.

A Sikh is someone who 1) Believes in the Guru Granth Sahib ji as the last eternal guru

                     2) is working towards becoming a Khalsa.

I'm a bit of an in-between.

Dressup & Nudity

This short section requires expansion.

Please note- a female user has replaced the words 'girl, women' and other female references with male references to show the original author of the next few paragraphs how it feels to be spoken about in a sexist manner. Please particularly see the part about rape that the original author wrote below.

• Today many Sikhs feel helpless to see the dressing sense of modern Sikh boys. The growing tendency among the boys to show body contours is a unhealthy step in our Sikh society. In Sikhism indecent dresses are not allowed. By user:Sarbjeet 1313me

As for boys and dressing up, boys need to cover up more! There is no reason why you cant look good and be modest. But its also upto the girls, alot of young sikh girls, especially here in the UK, have NO SELF CONTROL!! its really quite sad..i think within the communities boys need to have more self respect in general, then they wont feel the need for attention from girls, they'll stop dressing indecently as it is.(User:Unknown)

• In gurdwaras these Boys come wearing indecent clothes. My Grandmom said "Ah Zamana A Gaya, Waheguru Waheguru". Why these humans not take care of their clothes, you are sitting in congregation. Like in a company you have professional style including your sense, Clothing, Speaking style. Why don't these boys think about the professionalism of Gurdwara. Simple dress required!, Speaking Waheguru, Sitting Below with posture and with decent style. By user:hpt_lucky

• Tatoos which contain gurbani symbols should not be used. It's bejiti of Gurbani. By user:hpt_lucky

• Vulgar outfit are liked by mostly Men today and they call themselves modern. user:hpt_lucky want to say one thing. Firstly the human didn't wear the clothes, then slowly he started wearing Leaves, then he started wearing small clothes, then pant shirts suit, Sherwani came. During Gurus period body was covered even head was covered. NOW HUMAN IS MODERN. But now human is going backward coming before world in undergarments, small clothes & one day in leaves and then nudity arrives again...lol what a prediction. Sant SIngh maskeen says in vyakhya the Europe is almost Nude. These type of Guys call themselves modern. """Hum to modern hain"", I says "Arey ladki aap to puranee khayalaat wali hain, modern to hum hai""". By Ustaad Singh

Drugs and Intoxicants

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• Drugs - The life destructive today man takes with great pleasure. In my city Chandigarh many men likes to drink(wine beer etc), not for medicinal purposes but to get Nasha & its normal but a Sikh man do the same thing then it's ABNORMAL. This all is due to company & Taste Of Tongue & Taste of Mind. It is Shameful for me to see the Sikh guys not the Sikh only but the humanity, to take drugs and other intoxicants in huge amount which is not fit for their body. Here Guys drink the whole cough syrup and says "Sheeshee Laa Rahi haan". They also take capsules. Drinking & taking drugs they dances between girls late night in club discos.

Lustful

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• Today girls attract towards opposite sex easily and when she got raped then she knows what he did.(<<this is a disgusting, sexist and heartless piece written by the original author) I have many examples here. Boys are always lusty but today a boy is also Lusty of nature. He makes himself attractive to attract others. What Guru Says Ranna Hoyian Bodhiann, Pursh Hoyae Siyaar. By user:hpt_lucky

There is a lot of negative impact, this is westernized society and we as Sikhs have to learn to combat its influence. We cant stop it from happening, but we can stop the influence in our communities. (User:Unknown)

• Today due to the lot of exposure of sex on TV there is a negative impact on our younger generation. Not only Sikh boys but non Sikh boys are falling prey to such lustful desires. Infatuation is there. We have many examples where Sikh boys are doing sex at the early age of 15-18 to fulfil their lustful desire.In Sikhism, Sex is not prohibited but it ir allowed in the prescribed format of Married life with loyalty. By user:sarbjeet_1313me

• There is a lot of negative impact, this is westernized society and we as Sikhs have to learn to combat its influence. We cant stop it from happening, but we can stop the influence in our communities. (User:Unknown)

• Also, i think there's a huge taboo in our society, whenever a guy even walks with a girl people instantly assume something dirty...i walk with my cousins down a road see an old lady from a gurdwara and they give me the evils every time.

"Kaur" Removal from Names

Kaur means "princess" and is a name that should used as the last name by female Sikhs. This custom was first introduced in 1699 by Guru Gobind Singh, the tenth Sikh Guru when he administered Amrit(baptism) to both males and female Sikhs. All female Sikhs were asked to use the name Kaur after their forename and males were to use the name Singh, meaning "lion". This custom further confirmed equality to both genders as was the tradition set by the founder of Sikhism, Guru Nanak. For a sikh born family kaur is automatically introduced to as a last name.

But today girls are removing kaur out from there names and put their surnames or clans instead of kaur. This tendency has mainly risen up in punjab. Kaur is of less relevance to them then their surname. For eg :A jatt Sikh girl here lives whose proper name is Paravydeep Kaur Nijjar, but she likes her to call Paravydeep Nijjer. Sly a girl name Samia Kaur Arora call her Samia Arora. Where are their identity. This shows the discrimination as guru jee provide the name to all female not to discriminate on the basis of caste and they provide the name kaur, that every female is princess here but the sikh women do not accept this last name. Again Caste Discrimination, Patit Sikh concept generate. This is mostly seen in girls of Jatt and Khatri community. Latest news in Aug 2007 shows a girl hates 'Kaur' in her name, wanted certificate she is a Sikh. There are many examples like these.

• Yahoo Chat(Ustaad SIngh & P. Kaur)

The following is a yahoo chat with a girl who calls herself kaur but what is kaur for her:-

Ustaad Jee: Aj Sikhs nu naam pichey Kaur ya Singh lagauna pasand nahin. (Todays Sikhs do not like surname as singh.)
Ustaad Jee: Amarpreet Johal, Harpreet Ghotra, Paravydeep Nijjer, Nobuddy likes Singh and Kaur today
Paree _The Sprite: my name is paravdeep kaur nijjar at skool
Ustaad Jee: To hell with Skool it means kaur is just for school
Paree _The Sprite: no for papers too
Paree _The Sprite: and for my passport
Ustaad Jee: Oh my god, what about your mind your heart?
Ustaad Jee: Kitabee galan naa karo jee. (Do not talk before me about papers)
Paree _The Sprite: oh ok
Paree _The Sprite: um yeah no1 adds singh and kaur
Ustaad Jee: Nijjer jyada pasand hai Kae Kaur? (You like nijjer more or Kaur?)
Paree _The Sprite: well actully i like nijjar
Ustaad Jee: Lai aa gaye gall. (Here the main fact is)
Paree _The Sprite: becuz its my pind(Village) yaar
Paree _The Sprite: did u ever hear about nijjaran?
Ustaad Jee: Pind nu laggey fahey pehlan Sikhi aaa. Ehda matleb Hobby da naam Amarpreet Singh Mohali. Hahah How Funny. (To hell with the village for me sikhi is in front how it looks like Harpreet Singh Mohali and Bill gates become Bill America)

• The above discussion is short but it covers very important fact of sikhism. You guys are intelligent hope u must understand.

Im a sikh girl, im in school, and i think the main problem is pride. Sikhs dont have pride in their religion anymore because theres no unity. If sikh youth get together, become a close knit youth community, people will start putting kaur and singh back into their names! I've never taken it out....i love Kaur<< it doesnt just mean "princess" It means that you too, like the men...are a "son" of the guru...or as i like to say... " a prince of the female gender ;)"<< But i think some parents are also at fault..a girl can do whatever a guy can do! My mum was a bit uneasy about me playing the Dhol because its a little manly...but i play it anyways (just a little example)

oh and also...using clan names is common, and its impossible to make the entire sikh population give them up..those who will, will! when they are ready! and its important also in some cases especially for marriage...imagin if you married someone who was actually ur second cousin...?!

personally, i think, everyone should use SIINGH and KAUR somewhere in their names, i wont lie i use my clan name also, because its a way of constituting my identity thats important to me personally. When i become Khalsa then i'll give it up!

another thing is that people confuse clan with caste. Clan names are names to do with LINEAGE and tribes..somewhere along the line it became a caste system to do with peoples professions, who cares about whether your a farmer or a supermarket attendent?!! As long as you work with honesty, and do your job as well as you can as the guru intended..then i don't see any problem...

The youth need to be strong, they need to unite and educate and help eachother, if this doesnt happen then there is no hope! And also to any parents reading this<< Please PLEASE PLEASE!! could you encourage a Sikh Youth Society at your local gurdwara? Get some kids together and organise discussions and activities...even if its just going to the park...the youth will take more pride and be more confident that way. I know it will help alot, you'll see the difference!

For awhile in Canada the names Kaur and Singh were banned from name changes, etc. When my half sister moved here from Scotland in the 70s later she found she had to change her name. In my case my mother was Jewish. I wasn't raised Jewish just sort of neutral North American. My father wanted to name me but my mother wouldn't allow it. So my name doesn't include Kaur and my first name is based on how jewish traditionally name their kids. - Saroja

See also

References

• Quotes are users own's construction using Gurbani and watching the world. So no Copyright material is there on it. The examples given here are 100 % true.
• Users of Sikhiwiki have contributed for this idea.

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