Lust Control

ਰੇ  ਮਨ  ਗਹਿਲੇ  ਬਾਵਲੇ  ਮਾਣਹਿ  ਕਿਆ  ਰਲੀਆਂ  ॥੫੫॥
रे मन गहिले बावले माणहि किआ रलीआं ॥५५॥
ray man gahilay baavlay maaneh ki-aa ralee-aaN. ||55||
O my thoughtless and insane mind, why are you indulging in pleasures?                                  
||55||(Sheikh Farid)

LUST and ILLEGITIMATE SEX

It is one of the greatest evils that tempts people away from God. It makes an individual weak-willed and unreliable. Normal sexual relationship as a house-holder is not restricted in any way in Sikhism. But sex outside marriage or sex against the will of the partner is taboo, as it can cause unlimited sorrows.

ਸ੝ਣਿ ਸ੝ਣਿ ਕਾਮ ਗਹੇਲੀਝ ਕਿਆ ਚਲਹਿ ਬਾਹ ਲ੝ਡਾਇ ॥
सढ़णि सढ़णि काम गहेलीझ किआ चलहि बाह लढ़डाइ ॥
sun sun kaam gahaylee-ay ki-aa chaleh baah ludaa-ay.
Listen, listen, O soul-bride: you are overtaken by 
sexual desire-why do  you walk like that, swinging your 
arms in joy?(Page 37, Line 18) Guru Amar Das)

ਅਹਿਨਿਸਿ ਕਾਮਿ ਵਿਆਪਿਆ ਵਣਜਾਰਿਆ ਮਿਤ੝ਰਾ ਅੰਧ੝ਲੇ ਨਾਮ੝ ਨ ਚਿਤਿ ॥
अहिनिसि कामि विआपिआ वणजारिआ मितढ़रा अंधढ़ले नामढ़ न चिति ॥
ahinis kaam vi-aapi-aa vanjaari-aa mitraa anDhulay naam na chit.
Day and night, you are engrossed in sexual desire, 
O my merchant friend,  and your consciousness is blind to
 the Naam.(Guru Nanak Dev page 75 line 16)

ਉਛਲਿਆ ਕਾਮ੝ ਕਾਲ ਮਤਿ ਲਾਗੀ ਤਉ ਆਨਿ ਸਕਤਿ ਗਲਿ ਬਾਂਧਿਆ ॥੨॥
उछलिआ कामढ़ काल मति लागी तउ आनि सकति गलि बांधिआ ॥२॥
uchhli-aa kaam kaal mat laagee ta-o aan sakat gal baaNDhi-aa. ||2||
You are overflowing with sexual desire, and your intellect 
is stained with darkness; you are held in the grip of Shakti's 
 power.||2|| (Bhagat Baini page 93 line 7)

ਅਵਰ ਮਰਤ ਮਾਇਆ ਮਨ੝ ਤੋਲੇ ਤਉ ਭਗ ਮ੝ਖਿ ਜਨਮ੝ ਵਿਗੋਇਆ ॥੩॥
अवर मरत माइआ मनढ़ तोले तउ भग मढ़खि जनमढ़ विगोइआ ॥३॥
avar marat maa-i-aa man tolay ta-o bhag mukh janam vigo-i-aa. ||3||
When others die, you measure your own wealth in your mind; 
you waste your life in the pleasures of the mouth and sexual 
organs. ||3|| (Devotee Baini page 93 line 10)

VIRGINITY

The loss of virginity can be viewed as a milestone to be proud of or as a failure to be ashamed of (particularly if a lack of self control was involved), depending on cultural perceptions. these perceptions were heavily influenced by perceived gender roles, such that for a male the association was more often with pride and for a female the association was more often with shame. But today women feel pride about this not in western culture but in other countries too.

In Sikhism, The sexual activity must occur only between married individuals(Unde Control) for purpose of child. Before marriage it is said to be sin, as it is a pat of kaam(lust or sexual desire). If a girl/Boy looses his virginity before marriage because to satisfy her/his needs then this is sin for both. This comes under sexual desire i.e kam(one of vices). If virginity looses through masturbation then it is also a sin as your thinkings must be wrog at that time. Virginity is important aspect and every guy must take care of it before marriage.

ਜਾਂ ਕ੝ਆਰੀ ਤਾ ਚਾਉ ਵੀਵਾਹੀ ਤਾਂ ਮਾਮਲੇ ॥
jaaN ku-aaree taa chaa-o veevaahee taaN maamlay
When she is a virgin, she is full of desire; 
but when she is married,  then her troubles begin.

ਫਰੀਦਾ  ਝਹੋ  ਪਛੋਤਾਉ  ਵਤਿ  ਕ੝ਆਰੀ  ਨ  ਥੀਝ  ॥੬੩॥
फरीदा झहो पछोताउ वति कढ़आरी न थीझ ॥६३॥
fareedaa ayho pachhotaa-o vat ku-aaree na thee-ai. ||63||
Fareed, she has this one regret, 
that she cannot be a virgin again. ||63||
(Page 1381, Line 5/6 Sheikh Farid)

ABOUT PURITY OF VIRGINITY

ਖਿੰਥਾ  ਕਾਲ੝  ਕ੝ਆਰੀ  ਕਾਇਆ  ਜ੝ਗਤਿ  ਡੰਡਾ  ਪਰਤੀਤਿ  ॥
खिंथा कालढ़ कढ़आरी काइआ जढ़गति डंडा परतीति ॥
khinthaa kaal ku-aaree kaa-i-aa jugat dandaa parteet.

Let the remembrance of death be the patched coat you wear, 
let the purity of virginity be your way in the world, 
and let faith in the Lord be your walking stick. 
Guru Nanak Dev(Page 6 Line 16)

MASTURBATION

This is mostly seen in adolesence period as they want to satisfy their sexual needs. It is for self pleasure. Well Masturbation deal with your thinking. If you are thinking

If virginity looses through masturbation then it is also a sin as your thinkings must be wrong at that time

SIKH ATTITUDE TO FAMILY PLANNING

In olden times, the problem of family-planning did not exist. Even today in areas where population is scanty and resources adequate, family-planning is not necessary. This does not mean that excessive indulgence in sex becomes desirable. The Gurus told their followers to exercise self-control and to regulate sex sensibly. The Gurus recommended the middle way between self-indulgence and abstinence. Excessive sex was taboo as it led to sorrow and sickness.

Sikhism accepts the common-sense approach to family-planning. It is for the couple to decide whether they want family-planning or not, and in case the answer is in the affirmative, the mode or technique thereof. Family-planning may be necessary for health of the partners or the nursing or up-bringing of existing children. However, natural methods of contraception are preferred to artificial methods and devices. Even so, family-planning should not be under-taken without competent medical advice and supervision. There are no injunctions in Sikhism against the use of contraceptives. Abortion is a taboo, as it is an interference in the creative work of God. If the conception has taken place, it would be a sin to destroy life and hence deliberate miscarriage or abortion is forbidden. Similarly, experimenting with embryos and genes is discouraged. Contraception for the purpose of avoiding the results of illicit sex is also forbidden.

HOW TO GET RID of all this

1. Wisdom (gyan) : is the complete knowledge of a set of religious principles. It can be achieved by hearing good, thinking good and doing good. A man of wisdom tries to achieve a high moral standard in his life and interaction with others. According to Sikhism, the first steps to wisdom is to consider oneself as an ignorant person who has to learn a lot in life.

2. Truthful Living (sat) : This is more than 'truth'. It means living according to the way of God i.e. the thoughts should match the words that a person speaks and his actions should also match his words. Truthful living brings a person closer to God.

3. Justice (niaon) : means freedom and equal opportunities for all. Respect for the rights of others and strict absence of attempts to exploit a fellow being. Sikhism forbids the desire to loot another's property. It also strictly instructs the Sikhs to show respect even for the women and children of an enemy.

4. Temperance (santokh) : means self control which has to be developed through meditation and prayers. A Sikh has to banish evil thoughts from his mind by constantly repeating Gods name and reciting prayers. Torture to the body to develop self-control is not advocated in Sikhism

5. Patience (dhiraj) : implies a high level of tolerance and empathy for others. It requires control over ones ego and willingness to overlook another's weakness or mistakes. It requires that a Sikh should be strong willed, but kind hearted.

6. Courage (himmat) : means bravery i.e. absence of fear. It is the ability to stake ones life for ones convictions and for saving others from injustice or cruelty.

7. Humility (namarta) : is a deliberate denial of pleasure at one's own praise and admiration. It means underplaying ones own strengths and respecting the abilities of others. It is the antidote to 'ahankar'

8. Contentment (sabar) : means refraining from worldly fears and submitting oneself to the will of God. The typical worldly fears can be fear of death, poverty, disrespect and defeat. It is this virtue that has given the Sikhs the moral strength to withstand the various atrocities committed on their community in the last three centuries.

“O my Master. I am silly, save me, 0 my Lord-God!
Thy slave’s praise in thine own glory!” (AG, 166)