Lust Control: Difference between revisions

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ਰੇ  ਮਨ  ਗਹਿਲੇ  ਬਾਵਲੇ  ਮਾਣਹਿ  ਕਿਆ  ਰਲੀਆਂ  ॥੫੫॥
:ਰੇ  ਮਨ  ਗਹਿਲੇ  ਬਾਵਲੇ  ਮਾਣਹਿ  ਕਿਆ  ਰਲੀਆਂ  ॥੫੫॥
रे मन गहिले बावले माणहि किआ रलीआं ॥५५॥
:रे मन गहिले बावले माणहि किआ रलीआं ॥५५॥
ray man gahilay baavlay maaneh ki-aa ralee-aaN. ||55||
:ray man gahilay baavlay maaneh ki-aa ralee-aaN. ||55||
O my thoughtless and insane mind, why are you indulging in pleasures?                                   
:O my thoughtless and insane mind, why are you indulging in pleasures?                                   
||55||(Sheikh Farid)
:||55||(Sheikh Farid)


==LUST and ILLEGITIMATE SEX==
==LUST and ILLEGITIMATE SEX==
It is one of the greatest evils that tempts people away from God. It makes an individual weak-willed and unreliable. The normal sexual relationship of  house-holders (a married couple)  is not restricted in any way in [[Sikhism]]. But sex outside of marriage or sex forced against the will of ones partner is taboo, as it can cause unlimited sorrows.


It is one of the greatest evils that tempts people away from God. It makes an individual weak-willed and unreliable. Normal sexual relationship as a house-holder is not restricted in any way in [[Sikhism]]. But sex outside marriage or sex against the will of the partner is taboo, as it can cause unlimited sorrows.
:ਸ੝ਣਿ ਸ੝ਣਿ ਕਾਮ ਗਹੇਲੀਝ ਕਿਆ ਚਲਹਿ ਬਾਹ ਲ੝ਡਾਇ ॥
:सढ़णि सढ़णि काम गहेलीझ किआ चलहि बाह लढ़डाइ ॥
:sun sun kaam gahaylee-ay ki-aa chaleh baah ludaa-ay.
:Listen, listen, Oh, soul-bride: you are overtaken by
:sexual desire-why do  you walk like that, swinging your arms in joy?
::::::::(Page 37, Line 18) Guru Amar Das)


ਸ੝ਣਿ ਸ੝ਣਿ ਕਾਮ ਗਹੇਲੀਝ ਕਿਆ ਚਲਹਿ ਬਾਹ ਲ੝ਡਾਇ
:ਅਹਿਨਿਸਿ ਕਾਮਿ ਵਿਆਪਿਆ ਵਣਜਾਰਿਆ ਮਿਤ੝ਰਾ ਅੰਧ੝ਲੇ ਨਾਮ੝ ਨ ਚਿਤਿ
सढ़णि सढ़णि काम गहेलीझ किआ चलहि बाह लढ़डाइ
:अहिनिसि कामि विआपिआ वणजारिआ मितढ़रा अंधढ़ले नामढ़ न चिति
sun sun kaam gahaylee-ay ki-aa chaleh baah ludaa-ay.
:ahinis kaam vi-aapi-aa vanjaari-aa mitraa anDhulay naam na chit.
Listen, listen, O soul-bride: you are overtaken by
:Day and night, you are engrossed in sexual desire,
sexual desire-why do you walk like that, swinging your  
:O my merchant friend, and your consciousness is blind to the [[Naam]].
arms in joy?(Page 37, Line 18) Guru Amar Das)
::::::::([[Guru Nanak Dev]] page 75 line 16)


ਅਹਿਨਿਸਿ ਕਾਮਿ ਵਿਆਪਿਆ ਵਣਜਾਰਿਆ ਮਿਤ੝ਰਾ ਅੰਧ੝ਲੇ ਨਾਮ੝ ਨ ਚਿਤਿ ॥
:ਉਛਲਿਆ ਕਾਮ੝ ਕਾਲ ਮਤਿ ਲਾਗੀ ਤਉ ਆਨਿ ਸਕਤਿ ਗਲਿ ਬਾਂਧਿਆ ॥੨॥
अहिनिसि कामि विआपिआ वणजारिआ मितढ़रा अंधढ़ले नामढ़ न चिति ॥
:उछलिआ कामढ़ काल मति लागी तउ आनि सकति गलि बांधिआ ॥२॥
ahinis kaam vi-aapi-aa vanjaari-aa mitraa anDhulay naam na chit.
:uchhli-aa kaam kaal mat laagee ta-o aan sakat gal baaNDhi-aa.  
Day and night, you are engrossed in sexual desire,  
:You are overflowing with sexual desire, and your intellect
O my merchant friend,  and your consciousness is blind to
:is stained with darkness; you are held in the grip of Shakti's power.
  the [[Naam]].([[Guru Nanak Dev]] page 75 line 16)
::::::::||2|| ([[Bhagat Baini]] page 93 line 7)


ਉਛਲਿਆ ਕਾਮ੝ ਕਾਲ ਮਤਿ ਲਾਗੀ ਤਉ ਆਨਿ ਸਕਤਿ ਗਲਿ ਬਾਂਧਿਆ ॥੨॥
:ਅਵਰ ਮਰਤ ਮਾਇਆ ਮਨ੝ ਤੋਲੇ ਤਉ ਭਗ ਮ੝ਖਿ ਜਨਮ੝ ਵਿਗੋਇਆ ॥੩॥
उछलिआ कामढ़ काल मति लागी तउ आनि सकति गलि बांधिआ ॥२॥
:अवर मरत माइआ मनढ़ तोले तउ भग मढ़खि जनमढ़ विगोइआ ॥३॥
uchhli-aa kaam kaal mat laagee ta-o aan sakat gal baaNDhi-aa. ||2||
:avar marat maa-i-aa man tolay ta-o bhag mukh janam vigo-i-aa.  
You are overflowing with sexual desire, and your intellect
:When others die, you measure your own wealth in your mind;
is stained with darkness; you are held in the grip of Shakti's
:you waste your life in the pleasures of the mouth and sexual organs.
  power.||2|| ([[Bhagat Baini]] page 93 line 7)
::::::::||3|| (Devotee Baini page 93 line 10)


ਅਵਰ ਮਰਤ ਮਾਇਆ ਮਨ੝ ਤੋਲੇ ਤਉ ਭਗ ਮ੝ਖਿ ਜਨਮ੝ ਵਿਗੋਇਆ ॥੩॥
:Your eyebrows are like a bow, from which the arrows of lust are  
अवर मरत माइआ मनढ़ तोले तउ भग मढ़खि जनमढ़ विगोइआ ॥३॥
:coming out and striking us like the dagger
avar marat maa-i-aa man tolay ta-o bhag mukh janam vigo-i-aa. ||3||
::::::::[[Dasam Granth]] Page 703, Line 1
When others die, you measure your own wealth in your mind;
you waste your life in the pleasures of the mouth and sexual
organs. ||3|| (Devotee Baini page 93 line 10)
 
[[Dasam Granth]] Page 703, Line 1
Your eyebrows are like a bow, from which the arrows of lust are  
coming out and striking us like the dagger


==VIRGINITY==
==VIRGINITY==


The loss of virginity can be viewed as a milestone to be proud of or as a failure to be ashamed of (particularly if a lack of self control was involved), depending on cultural perceptions. these perceptions were heavily influenced by perceived gender roles, such that for a male the association was more often with pride and for a female the association was more often with shame. But today women feel pride about this not in western culture but in other countries too.  
The loss of virginity can be viewed as a milestone to be proud of or as a failure to be ashamed of (particularly if a lack of self control was involved), depending on cultural perceptions. These perceptions were heavily influenced by perceived gender roles, such that for a male the association was more often with pride and for a female the association was more often with shame. But today women feel pride about this not in western culture but in other countries too. '''[This viewpoint may be subjective].  
 
'''
In Sikhism, The sexual activity must occur only between married individuals(Unde Control) for purpose of child. Before marriage it is said  to be sin, as it is a pat of kaam(lust or sexual desire). If a girl/Boy looses his virginity before marriage  because to satisfy her/his needs then this is sin for both. This comes under sexual desire i.e kam(one of vices). If virginity looses through masturbation then it is also a sin as your thinkings must be wrog at that time. Virginity is important aspect and every guy must take care of it before marriage.
In Sikhism, sexual activity occurs only between married individuals. Before marriage it is ill-advised, as it has a high potential of being an indulgence of kaam( lust or extreme sexual desire). Virginity is important aspect of spirituality and everyone must attempt to preserve it before marriage, or when one is ready to move into another sacred state of being with their significant other.


  ਜਾਂ ਕ੝ਆਰੀ ਤਾ ਚਾਉ ਵੀਵਾਹੀ ਤਾਂ ਮਾਮਲੇ ॥
  ਜਾਂ ਕ੝ਆਰੀ ਤਾ ਚਾਉ ਵੀਵਾਹੀ ਤਾਂ ਮਾਮਲੇ ॥
  jaaN ku-aaree taa chaa-o veevaahee taaN maamlay
  jaaN ku-aaree taa chaa-o veevaahee taaN maamlay
  When she is a virgin, she is full of desire;  
  When she is a virgin, she is full of desire; but when she is married,  then her troubles begin.
but when she is married,  then her troubles begin.
   
   
  ਫਰੀਦਾ  ਝਹੋ  ਪਛੋਤਾਉ  ਵਤਿ  ਕ੝ਆਰੀ  ਨ  ਥੀਝ  ॥੬੩॥
  ਫਰੀਦਾ  ਝਹੋ  ਪਛੋਤਾਉ  ਵਤਿ  ਕ੝ਆਰੀ  ਨ  ਥੀਝ  ॥੬੩॥
  फरीदा झहो पछोताउ वति कढ़आरी न थीझ ॥६३॥
  फरीदा झहो पछोताउ वति कढ़आरी न थीझ ॥६३॥
  fareedaa ayho pachhotaa-o vat ku-aaree na thee-ai. ||63||
  fareedaa ayho pachhotaa-o vat ku-aaree na thee-ai. ||63||
  Fareed, she has this one regret,  
  Fareed, she has this one regret, that she cannot be a virgin again. ||63||
that she cannot be a virgin again. ||63||
  (Page 1381, Line 5/6 Sheikh [[Farid]])
  (Page 1381, Line 5/6 Sheikh [[Farid]])


Line 62: Line 59:


  ਖਿੰਥਾ  ਕਾਲ੝  ਕ੝ਆਰੀ  ਕਾਇਆ  ਜ੝ਗਤਿ  ਡੰਡਾ  ਪਰਤੀਤਿ  ॥
  ਖਿੰਥਾ  ਕਾਲ੝  ਕ੝ਆਰੀ  ਕਾਇਆ  ਜ੝ਗਤਿ  ਡੰਡਾ  ਪਰਤੀਤਿ  ॥
  खिंथा कालढ़ कढ़आरी काइआ जढ़गति डंडा परतीति ॥
  खिंथा कालढ़ कढ़आरी काइआ जढ़गति डंडा परतीति ॥
  khinthaa kaal ku-aaree kaa-i-aa jugat dandaa parteet.
  khinthaa kaal ku-aaree kaa-i-aa jugat dandaa parteet.


  Let the remembrance of death be the patched coat you wear,  
  Let the remembrance of death be the patched coat you wear, let the purity of
let the purity of virginity be your way in the world,  
virginity be your way in the world, and let faith in the Lord be your walking stick.  
and let faith in the Lord be your walking stick.  
  [[Guru Nanak Dev]](Page 6 Line 16)
  [[Guru Nanak Dev]](Page 6 Line 16)


==MASTURBATION==
==MASTURBATION==


This is mostly seen in adolesence period as they want to satisfy their sexual needs. It is for self pleasure(sexual pleasure using with own or others hands i.e no ni penil - vag-inal penetration). Well Masturbation deal with your thinking. There is nothing written about masturbation
*[[Sikhi on masturbating]]
 
But their is written about thoughts and thinkings. Masturbation occurs there where [[kam]]/lust/sexual desire is. While masturbate thinking is wrong. You are thinking about some girl/boy wrongly
 
If virginity looses through masturbation then it is also a sin as your thinkings must be wrong at that time
 
ਇਸ੝ ਤਨ ਮਨ ਮਧੇ ਮਦਨ ਚੋਰ ॥
इसढ़ तन मन मधे मदन चोर ॥
is tan man maDhay madan chor.
Within the body and mind are thieves like sexual desire,
[[Kabir]](Page 1194 line 14)
 
The thieve of sexual desire led to masturbation
 
ਬੂਝੀ ਤ੝ਰਿਸਨਾ ਸਹਜਿ ਸ੝ਹੇਲਾ ਕਾਮ੝ ਕ੝ਰੋਧ੝ ਬਿਖ੝ ਜਾਰੋ ॥
बूझी तढ़रिसना सहजि सढ़हेला कामढ़ कढ़रोधढ़ बिखढ़ जारो ॥
boojhee tarisnaa sahj suhaylaa kaam kroDh bikh jaaro.
My thirst is quenched, and I have been intuitively embellished.
The poisons of sexual desire and anger have been burnt away.
[[Guru arjan Dev]](1215 line 2)
 
Masturbation not only burn your spiritual life but also destroy you physically.
 
====Masturbation Is Not Safe====
 
It make you weak. it can lead to both psychological and physiological imbalances. Frequent masturbation and ejaculation stimulate acetylcholine/parasympathetic nervous functions excessively, resulting in the over production of sex hormones and neurotransmitters such as acetylcholine, dopamine and serotonin. Abundant and unusually amount of these hormones and neurotransmitters can cause the brain and adrenal glands to perform excessive dopamine-norepinephrine-epinephrine conversion and turn the brain and body functions to be extremely sympathetic. In other words, there is a big change of body chemistry when one excessively pratices masturbation.
 
'''The side effects of such changes to the body include:'''
Fatigue. Feeling tired all the time
Lower back pain
Stress / Anxiety
Thinning hair / Hair Loss
Soft / Weak Erection
Premature Ejaculation
Eye floaters or fuzzy vision
Groin / Testicular Pain
Peyronie's disease 
Pain or cramp in the pelvic cavity or/and tail bone
 
====A Guide to Self-Control====
 
1. Never touch the intimate parts of your body except during normal toilet processes. Avoid being alone as much as possible. Find good company and stay in this good company.
 
2. If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, you must break off their friendship. Never associate with other people having the same weakness. Don't suppose that two of you will quit together, you never will. You must get away from people of that kind. Just to be in their presence will keep your problem foremost in your mind. The problem must be taken out of your mind for that is where it really exists. Your mind must be on other and more wholesome things.
 
3. When you bathe, do not admire yourself in a mirror. Never stay in the bath more than five or six minutes -- just long enough to bathe and dry and dress and then get out of the bathroom into a room where you will have some member of your family present.
 
4. When in bed, if that is where you have your problem for the most part, dress yourself for the night so securely that you cannot easily touch your vital parts, and so that it would be difficult and time consuming for you to remove those clothes. By the time you started to remove protective clothing you would have sufficiently controlled your thinking that the temptation would leave you.
 
5. If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, get out of bed and go into the kitchen and fix yourself a snack, even if it is in the middle of the night, and even if you are not hungry, and despite your fears of gaining weight. The purpose behind this suggestion is that you get your mind on something else. You are the subject of your thoughts, so to speak.
 
6. Never read pornographic material. Never read about your problem. Keep it out of mind. Remember -- "First a thought, then an act." The thought pattern must be changed. You must not allow this problem to remain in your mind. When you accomplish that, you soon will be free of the act.
 
7. Put wholesome thoughts into your mind at all times. Read good books -- HOly books -- Scriptures -- etc. Make a daily habit of reading at least one chapter of Scripture, preferably from one of the four Gospels in the New Testament, or the Book of Mormon. The four Gospels -- Matthew, Mark, Luke and John -- above anything else in the Bible can be helpful because of their uplifting qualities.
 
8. Pray. But when you pray, don't pray about this problem, for that will tend to keep it in your mind more than ever. Pray for faith, pray for understanding of the Scriptures, pray for the Missionaries, the General Authorities, your friends, your families, but keep the problem out of your mind by not mentioning it ever -- not in conversation with others, not in your prayers. keep it out of your mind!
 
The attitude of a person toward his problem has an effect on how easy it is to overcome. It is essential that a firm commitment be made to control the habit. As a person understands his reasons for the behavior, and is sensitive to the conditions or situations that may trigger a desire for the act, he develops the power to control it.
 
====Suggestions====
 
1. Pray daily, ask for the gifts of the Spirit, that which will strengthen you against temptation. Pray fervently and out lout when the temptations are the strongest.
 
2. Follow a program of vigorous daily exercise. The exercises reduce emotional tension and depression and are absolutely basic to the solution of this problem. Double your physical activity when you feel stress increasing.
 
3. When the temptation to masturbate is strong, yell STOP to those thoughts as loudly as you can in your mind and then recite a prechosen Scripture or sing an inspirational hymn. It is important to turn your thoughts away from the selfish need to indulge.
 
4. Set goals of abstinence, begin with a day, then a week, month, year and finally commit to never doing it again. Until you commit yourself to _never again_ you will always be open to temptation.
 
5. Change in behavior and attitude is most easily achieved through a changed self-image. Spend time every day imagining yourself strong and in control, easily overcoming tempting situations.
 
6. Begin to work daily on a self-improvement program. Relate this plan to improving your Church service, to improving your relationships with your family, God and others. Strive to enhance your strengths and talents.
 
7. Be outgoing and friendly. Force yourself to be with others and learn to enjoy working and talking to them. Use principles of developing friendships found in books such as How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.
 
8. Be aware of situations that depress you or that cause you to feel lonely, bored, frustrated or discouraged. These emotional states can trigger the desire to masturbate as a way of escape. Plan in advance to counter these low periods through various activities, such as reading a book, visiting a friend, doing something athletic, etc.
 
9. Make a pocket calendar for a month on a small card. Carry it with you, but show it to no one. If you have a lapse of self control, color the day black. Your goal will be to have no black days. The calendar becomes a strong visual reminder of self control and should be looked at when you are tempted to add another black day. Keep your calendar up until you have at least three clear months.
 
10. A careful study will indicate you have had the problem at certain times and under certain conditions. Try and recall, in detail, what your particular times and conditions were. Now that you understand how it happens, plan to break the pattern through counter activities.
 
11. In the field of psychotherapy there is a very effective technique called aversion therapy. When we associate or think of something very distasteful with something which has been pleasurable, but undesirable, the distasteful thought and feeling will begin to cancel out that which was pleasurable. If you associate something very distasteful with your loss of self-control it will help you to stop the act. For example, if you are tempted to masturbate, think of having to bathe in a tub of worms, and eating several of them as you do the act.
 
12. During your toileting and shower activities leave the bathroom door or shower curtain partly open, to discourage being alone in total privacy. Take cool brief showers.
 
13. Arise immediately in the mornings. Do not lie in bed awake, no matter what time of day it is. Get up and do something. Start each day with an enthusiastic activity.
 
14. Keep your bladder empty. Refrain from drinking large amounts of fluids before retiring.
 
15. Reduce the amount of spices and condiments in your food. Eat as lightly as possible at night.
 
16. Wear pajamas that are difficult to open, yet loose and not binding.
 
17. Avoid people, situations, pictures or reading materials that might create sexual excitement.
 
18. It is sometimes helpful to have a physical object to use in overcoming this problem. A Book of Mormon, firmly held in hand, even in bed at night has proven helpful in extreme cases.
 
19. In very severe cases it may be necessary to tie a hand to the bed frame with a tie in order that the habit of masturbating in a semi-sleep condition can be broken. This can also be accomplished by wearing several layers of clothing which would be difficult to remove while half asleep.
 
20. Set up a reward system for your successes. It does not have to be a big reward. A quarter in a receptacle each time you overcome or reach a goal. Spend it on something which delights you and will be a continuing reminder of your progress.
 
21. Do not let yourself return to any past habit or attitude patterns which were part of your problem. Satan never gives up. Be calmly and confidently on guard. Keep a positive mental attitude. You can win this fight! The joy and strength you will feel when you do will give your whole life a radiant and spiritual glow of satisfaction and fulfillment.


==WATCHING PORN==
==WATCHING PORN==
Line 180: Line 74:
Sikhs should not watch porn. these things keep you away from not only spiritual life but also effect your normal life. These makes you masturbative and you will loose your virginity all this falls under part of kam. You are watching for internal pleasure. This is banned for sikhs.  
Sikhs should not watch porn. these things keep you away from not only spiritual life but also effect your normal life. These makes you masturbative and you will loose your virginity all this falls under part of kam. You are watching for internal pleasure. This is banned for sikhs.  


Actually the buisnessmans of porn know that Kaam(lust) is the main evil which is in every human being they take support of this evil and makes you kami. They earn money through kam And can destroy your life through it.
The businessmen of the porn industry know that Kaam(lust) is the main evil which is in every human being they take support of this evil and makes you kami. They earn money through kam And can destroy your life through it.


  ਤੀਜੈ ਝਾਖ ਝਖਾਇਆ ਚਉਥੈ ਭੋਰ੝ ਭਇਆ ॥
  ਤੀਜੈ ਝਾਖ ਝਖਾਇਆ ਚਉਥੈ ਭੋਰ੝ ਭਇਆ ॥
  तीजै झाख झखाइआ चउथै भोरढ़ भइआ ॥
  तीजै झाख झखाइआ चउथै भोरढ़ भइआ ॥
  teejai jhaakh jhakhaa-i-aa cha-uthai bhor bha-i-aa.
  teejai jhaakh jhakhaa-i-aa cha-uthai bhor bha-i-aa.
  In the third, they babble nonsense, and when the fourth  
  In the third, they babble nonsense, and when the fourth  
Line 190: Line 84:


  ਅਗਿਆਨ ਮਤੀ ਅੰਧੇਰ੝ ਹੈ ਬਿਨ੝ ਪਿਰ ਦੇਖੇ ਭ੝ਖ ਨ ਜਾਇ ॥
  ਅਗਿਆਨ ਮਤੀ ਅੰਧੇਰ੝ ਹੈ ਬਿਨ੝ ਪਿਰ ਦੇਖੇ ਭ੝ਖ ਨ ਜਾਇ ॥
  अगिआन मती अंधेरढ़ है बिनढ़ पिर देखे भढ़ख न जाइ ॥
  अगिआन मती अंधेरढ़ है बिनढ़ पिर देखे भढ़ख न जाइ ॥
  agi-aan matee anDhayr hai bin pir daykhay bhukh na jaa-ay.
  agi-aan matee anDhayr hai bin pir daykhay bhukh na jaa-ay.
  In the darkness of intellectual ignorance, she cannot  
  In the darkness of intellectual ignorance, she cannot  
Line 196: Line 90:
  Guru amardas page 38 line 5
  Guru amardas page 38 line 5
   
   
Bura dekhan main chalea (kabir)
Ranna hoyian bodhian purash hoye sinyaar
(Kuriyan nu dikhan da shonk te pursh nu wekhan daa)


Many things are written i guru granth sahib if you dont have self control go towards guru granth sahib. He/she/it(wat to say) will definately show you the way.
 
Many things are written in guru granth sahib regarding this. If you don't have self control go towards guru granth sahib and do ardas from the depth of your heart. Waheguru will definitely show you the way.


==SIKH ATTITUDE TO FAMILY PLANNING ==
==SIKH ATTITUDE TO FAMILY PLANNING ==


Gurus never induldge in kaam but they said that sex should after your marriage and should for purpose of child not for pleasure.
*[[Sikhi on Family Planning]]
 
Guru gobind singh also abolish the concept of kaam.
 
Page 1345, Line 13
ਕਾਮ ਕ੝ਰੋਧ ਹੰਕਾਰ ਲੋਭ ਹਠ ਮੋਹ ਨ ਮਨ ਸੋ ਲਯਾਵੈ ॥
काम कढ़रोध हंकार लोभ हठ मोह न मन सो लयावै ॥
Keep your mind unattached from lust, anger, greed, insistence
and  infatuation,
 
In olden times, the problem of family-planning did not exist. Even today in areas where population is scanty and resources adequate, family-planning is not necessary. This does not mean that excessive indulgence in sex becomes desirable. The Gurus told their followers to exercise self-control and to regulate sex sensibly. The Gurus recommended the middle way between self-indulgence and abstinence. Excessive sex was taboo as it led to sorrow and sickness.
 
Sikhism accepts the common-sense approach to family-planning. It is for the couple to decide whether they want family-planning or not, and in case the answer is in the affirmative, the mode or technique thereof. Family-planning may be necessary for health of the partners or the nursing or up-bringing of existing children. However, natural methods of contraception are preferred to artificial methods and devices. Even so, family-planning should not be under-taken without competent medical advice and supervision. There are no injunctions in Sikhism against the use of contraceptives. Abortion is a taboo, as it is an interference in the creative work of God. If the conception has taken place, it would be a sin to destroy life and hence deliberate miscarriage or abortion is forbidden. Similarly, experimenting with embryos and genes is discouraged. Contraception for the purpose of avoiding the results of illicit sex is also forbidden.
 
ਦੇਖਿ ਕ੝ਟੰਬ੝ ਮੋਹਿ ਲੋਭਾਣਾ ਚਲਦਿਆ ਨਾਲਿ ਨ ਜਾਈ ॥
देखि कढ़टढ़मबढ़ मोहि लोभाणा चलदिआ नालि न जाई ॥
daykh kutamb mohi lobhaanaa chaldi-aa naal na jaa-ee.
Beholding your family, you are lured away by emotional attachment,
but when you leave, they will not go with you.
Guru Amar Das(Page 64 line 19


==HOW TO GET RID of all this==
==HOW TO GET RID of all this==
Line 251: Line 123:
  ਜ੝ੱਧ ਜਿਤੇ ਇਨ ਹੀ ਕੇ ਪ੝ਰਸਾਦਿ ਇਨ ਹੀ ਕੇ ਪ੝ਰਸਾਦਿ ਸ੝ ਦਾਨ ਕਰੇ ॥  
  ਜ੝ੱਧ ਜਿਤੇ ਇਨ ਹੀ ਕੇ ਪ੝ਰਸਾਦਿ ਇਨ ਹੀ ਕੇ ਪ੝ਰਸਾਦਿ ਸ੝ ਦਾਨ ਕਰੇ ॥  
  ਅਘ ਅਉਘ ਟਰੈ ਇਨ ਹੀ ਕੇ ਪ੝ਰਸਾਦਿ ਇਨ ਹੀ ਕ੝ਰਿਪਾ ਫ੝ਨ ਧਾਮ ਭਰੇ ॥
  ਅਘ ਅਉਘ ਟਰੈ ਇਨ ਹੀ ਕੇ ਪ੝ਰਸਾਦਿ ਇਨ ਹੀ ਕ੝ਰਿਪਾ ਫ੝ਨ ਧਾਮ ਭਰੇ ॥
  जढ़ढ़ध जिते इन ही के पढ़रसादि इन ही के पढ़रसादि सढ़ दान करे ॥  
  जढ़ढ़ध जिते इन ही के पढ़रसादि इन ही के पढ़रसादि सढ़ दान करे ॥  
  अघ अउघ टरै इन ही के पढ़रसादि इन ही कढ़रिपा फढ़न धाम भरे ॥
  अघ अउघ टरै इन ही के पढ़रसादि इन ही कढ़रिपा फढ़न धाम भरे ॥
  By the kindness of these Sikhs, I have conquered the wars and  
  By the kindness of these Sikhs, I have conquered the wars and  
  also by their kindness, I have bestowed charities;  
  also by their kindness, I have bestowed charities;  

Latest revision as of 05:56, 5 June 2012

ਰੇ ਮਨ ਗਹਿਲੇ ਬਾਵਲੇ ਮਾਣਹਿ ਕਿਆ ਰਲੀਆਂ ॥੫੫॥
रे मन गहिले बावले माणहि किआ रलीआं ॥५५॥
ray man gahilay baavlay maaneh ki-aa ralee-aaN. ||55||
O my thoughtless and insane mind, why are you indulging in pleasures?
||55||(Sheikh Farid)

LUST and ILLEGITIMATE SEX

It is one of the greatest evils that tempts people away from God. It makes an individual weak-willed and unreliable. The normal sexual relationship of house-holders (a married couple) is not restricted in any way in Sikhism. But sex outside of marriage or sex forced against the will of ones partner is taboo, as it can cause unlimited sorrows.

ਸ੝ਣਿ ਸ੝ਣਿ ਕਾਮ ਗਹੇਲੀਝ ਕਿਆ ਚਲਹਿ ਬਾਹ ਲ੝ਡਾਇ ॥
सढ़णि सढ़णि काम गहेलीझ किआ चलहि बाह लढ़डाइ ॥
sun sun kaam gahaylee-ay ki-aa chaleh baah ludaa-ay.
Listen, listen, Oh, soul-bride: you are overtaken by
sexual desire-why do you walk like that, swinging your arms in joy?
(Page 37, Line 18) Guru Amar Das)
ਅਹਿਨਿਸਿ ਕਾਮਿ ਵਿਆਪਿਆ ਵਣਜਾਰਿਆ ਮਿਤ੝ਰਾ ਅੰਧ੝ਲੇ ਨਾਮ੝ ਨ ਚਿਤਿ ॥
अहिनिसि कामि विआपिआ वणजारिआ मितढ़रा अंधढ़ले नामढ़ न चिति ॥
ahinis kaam vi-aapi-aa vanjaari-aa mitraa anDhulay naam na chit.
Day and night, you are engrossed in sexual desire,
O my merchant friend, and your consciousness is blind to the Naam.
(Guru Nanak Dev page 75 line 16)
ਉਛਲਿਆ ਕਾਮ੝ ਕਾਲ ਮਤਿ ਲਾਗੀ ਤਉ ਆਨਿ ਸਕਤਿ ਗਲਿ ਬਾਂਧਿਆ ॥੨॥
उछलिआ कामढ़ काल मति लागी तउ आनि सकति गलि बांधिआ ॥२॥
uchhli-aa kaam kaal mat laagee ta-o aan sakat gal baaNDhi-aa.
You are overflowing with sexual desire, and your intellect
is stained with darkness; you are held in the grip of Shakti's power.
||2|| (Bhagat Baini page 93 line 7)
ਅਵਰ ਮਰਤ ਮਾਇਆ ਮਨ੝ ਤੋਲੇ ਤਉ ਭਗ ਮ੝ਖਿ ਜਨਮ੝ ਵਿਗੋਇਆ ॥੩॥
अवर मरत माइआ मनढ़ तोले तउ भग मढ़खि जनमढ़ विगोइआ ॥३॥
avar marat maa-i-aa man tolay ta-o bhag mukh janam vigo-i-aa.
When others die, you measure your own wealth in your mind;
you waste your life in the pleasures of the mouth and sexual organs.
||3|| (Devotee Baini page 93 line 10)
Your eyebrows are like a bow, from which the arrows of lust are
coming out and striking us like the dagger
Dasam Granth Page 703, Line 1

VIRGINITY

The loss of virginity can be viewed as a milestone to be proud of or as a failure to be ashamed of (particularly if a lack of self control was involved), depending on cultural perceptions. These perceptions were heavily influenced by perceived gender roles, such that for a male the association was more often with pride and for a female the association was more often with shame. But today women feel pride about this not in western culture but in other countries too. [This viewpoint may be subjective]. In Sikhism, sexual activity occurs only between married individuals. Before marriage it is ill-advised, as it has a high potential of being an indulgence of kaam( lust or extreme sexual desire). Virginity is important aspect of spirituality and everyone must attempt to preserve it before marriage, or when one is ready to move into another sacred state of being with their significant other.

ਜਾਂ ਕ੝ਆਰੀ ਤਾ ਚਾਉ ਵੀਵਾਹੀ ਤਾਂ ਮਾਮਲੇ ॥
jaaN ku-aaree taa chaa-o veevaahee taaN maamlay
When she is a virgin, she is full of desire; but when she is married,  then her troubles begin.

ਫਰੀਦਾ  ਝਹੋ  ਪਛੋਤਾਉ  ਵਤਿ  ਕ੝ਆਰੀ  ਨ  ਥੀਝ  ॥੬੩॥
फरीदा झहो पछोताउ वति कढ़आरी न थीझ ॥६३॥
fareedaa ayho pachhotaa-o vat ku-aaree na thee-ai. ||63||
Fareed, she has this one regret, that she cannot be a virgin again. ||63||
(Page 1381, Line 5/6 Sheikh Farid)

ABOUT PURITY OF VIRGINITY

ਖਿੰਥਾ  ਕਾਲ੝  ਕ੝ਆਰੀ  ਕਾਇਆ  ਜ੝ਗਤਿ  ਡੰਡਾ  ਪਰਤੀਤਿ  ॥
खिंथा कालढ़ कढ़आरी काइआ जढ़गति डंडा परतीति ॥
khinthaa kaal ku-aaree kaa-i-aa jugat dandaa parteet.
Let the remembrance of death be the patched coat you wear, let the purity of
virginity be your way in the world, and let faith in the Lord be your walking stick. 
Guru Nanak Dev(Page 6 Line 16)

MASTURBATION

WATCHING PORN

Sikhs should not watch porn. these things keep you away from not only spiritual life but also effect your normal life. These makes you masturbative and you will loose your virginity all this falls under part of kam. You are watching for internal pleasure. This is banned for sikhs.

The businessmen of the porn industry know that Kaam(lust) is the main evil which is in every human being they take support of this evil and makes you kami. They earn money through kam And can destroy your life through it.

ਤੀਜੈ ਝਾਖ ਝਖਾਇਆ ਚਉਥੈ ਭੋਰ੝ ਭਇਆ ॥
तीजै झाख झखाइआ चउथै भोरढ़ भइआ ॥
teejai jhaakh jhakhaa-i-aa cha-uthai bhor bha-i-aa.
In the third, they babble nonsense, and when the fourth 
watch comes,  the day of death has arrived.
Guru Arjan Page 43 line 12)
ਅਗਿਆਨ ਮਤੀ ਅੰਧੇਰ੝ ਹੈ ਬਿਨ੝ ਪਿਰ ਦੇਖੇ ਭ੝ਖ ਨ ਜਾਇ ॥
अगिआन मती अंधेरढ़ है बिनढ़ पिर देखे भढ़ख न जाइ ॥
agi-aan matee anDhayr hai bin pir daykhay bhukh na jaa-ay.
In the darkness of intellectual ignorance, she cannot 
see her Husband,  and her hunger does not depart.
Guru amardas page 38 line 5


Many things are written in guru granth sahib regarding this. If you don't have self control go towards guru granth sahib and do ardas from the depth of your heart. Waheguru will definitely show you the way.

SIKH ATTITUDE TO FAMILY PLANNING

HOW TO GET RID of all this

1. Wisdom (gyan) : is the complete knowledge of a set of religious principles. It can be achieved by hearing good, thinking good and doing good. A man of wisdom tries to achieve a high moral standard in his life and interaction with others. According to Sikhism, the first steps to wisdom is to consider oneself as an ignorant person who has to learn a lot in life.

2. Truthful Living (sat) : This is more than 'truth'. It means living according to the way of God i.e. the thoughts should match the words that a person speaks and his actions should also match his words. Truthful living brings a person closer to God.

3. Justice (niaon) : means freedom and equal opportunities for all. Respect for the rights of others and strict absence of attempts to exploit a fellow being. Sikhism forbids the desire to loot another's property. It also strictly instructs the Sikhs to show respect even for the women and children of an enemy.

4. Temperance (santokh) : means self control which has to be developed through meditation and prayers. A Sikh has to banish evil thoughts from his mind by constantly repeating Gods name and reciting prayers. Torture to the body to develop self-control is not advocated in Sikhism

5. Patience (dhiraj) : implies a high level of tolerance and empathy for others. It requires control over ones ego and willingness to overlook another's weakness or mistakes. It requires that a Sikh should be strong willed, but kind hearted.

6. Courage (himmat) : means bravery i.e. absence of fear. It is the ability to stake ones life for ones convictions and for saving others from injustice or cruelty.

7. Humility (namarta) : is a deliberate denial of pleasure at one's own praise and admiration. It means underplaying ones own strengths and respecting the abilities of others. It is the antidote to 'ahankar'

8. Contentment (sabar) : means refraining from worldly fears and submitting oneself to the will of God. The typical worldly fears can be fear of death, poverty, disrespect and defeat. It is this virtue that has given the Sikhs the moral strength to withstand the various atrocities committed on their community in the last three centuries.

at gurus time, Guru gobind singh said abt sikhs -

ਜ੝ੱਧ ਜਿਤੇ ਇਨ ਹੀ ਕੇ ਪ੝ਰਸਾਦਿ ਇਨ ਹੀ ਕੇ ਪ੝ਰਸਾਦਿ ਸ੝ ਦਾਨ ਕਰੇ ॥ 
ਅਘ ਅਉਘ ਟਰੈ ਇਨ ਹੀ ਕੇ ਪ੝ਰਸਾਦਿ ਇਨ ਹੀ ਕ੝ਰਿਪਾ ਫ੝ਨ ਧਾਮ ਭਰੇ ॥
जढ़ढ़ध जिते इन ही के पढ़रसादि इन ही के पढ़रसादि सढ़ दान करे ॥ 
अघ अउघ टरै इन ही के पढ़रसादि इन ही कढ़रिपा फढ़न धाम भरे ॥
By the kindness of these Sikhs, I have conquered the wars and 
also by their kindness, I have bestowed charities; 
by their kindness the clusters on sins have been destroyed and 
by their kindness my house is full of wealth and materials;

What are you giving to gurus know blady kaam, krofh lobh moh & hankaar. How can u think that guru is with you. If you leave all this then guru says

o sahib main us daa chela

lets bid before god and ask sorry to him -

“O my Master. I am silly, save me, 0 my Lord-God!
Thy slave’s praise in thine own glory!” (AG, 166)