Company we keep

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This article is part of the series on the "Message of Gurbani"

Bad company or Bad Sangat

Kabeer, I have been ruined and destroyed by bad company (sggs 1369).
False is friendship with the false and greedy. False is its foundation (sggs 1412).

Through our relationship with others around us we change. Gurbani in the Sri Guru Granth Sahib reveals to us that our friendships and the company that we keep has a profound influence on our outlook and the way we behave and develop. For example, Gurbani tells us that friendship with a fool, a untruthful person, a corrupt being, a Manmukh (self-willed, a person in worldly consciousness etc.), person who is wicked, pompous (proud or arrogant), unrighteous, greedy, unfaithful and so on — is founded on false foundation, therefore, lasts "for only a few short days" and "never works out right".

The implication is that if we associate and have friends with good qualities or virtues, our nature will change accordingly. However, on the other hand, if we make friends with someone who has bad qualities, he (or she) will be a bad influence on us for such "friendship leads to corruption".

Accordingly, the Great Souls tell us that one can tell who you are by the company you keep! Thus goes the proverbial expression "you are the company you keep".

The following lines or tuks from the Guru Granth Sahib explain the dangers of associating with the "wrong" type of company and how the company that we keep influences us:

Ruined by bad company

ਕਬੀਰ ਮਾਰੀ ਮਰਉ ਕ੝ਸੰਗ ਕੀ ਕੇਲੇ ਨਿਕਟਿ ਜ੝ ਬੇਰਿ ॥ ਉਹ ਝੂਲੈ ਉਹ ਚੀਰੀਝ ਸਾਕਤ ਸੰਗ੝ ਨ ਹੇਰਿ ॥੮੮॥
Kabīr mĝrī mara▫o kusang kī kele nikat jo ber. Uh jẖūlai uh cẖīrī▫ai sĝkaṯ sang na her. ((88))
Kabeer, I have been ruined and destroyed by bad company, like the banana plant near the thorn bush.
The thorn bush waves in the wind, and pierces the banana plant; see this, and do not associate with the faithless cynics. ((88))

Run away from company of evil people

ਸਾਧੋ ਮਨ ਕਾ ਮਾਨ੝ ਤਿਆਗਉ ॥ ਕਾਮ੝ ਕ੝ਰੋਧ੝ ਸੰਗਤਿ ਦ੝ਰਜਨ ਕੀ ਤਾ ਤੇ ਅਹਿਨਿਸਿ ਭਾਗਉ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
Sĝḝẖo man kĝ mĝn ṯi▫ĝga▫o. Kĝm kroḝẖ sangaṯ ḝurjan kī ṯĝ ṯe ahinis bẖĝga▫o. ((1)) rahĝ▫o.
: Holy Saadhus: forsake the pride of your mind.

Sexual desire, anger and the company of evil people - run away from them, day and night. ((1)(Pause))


If you don't keep good company

ਅੰਤਰਿ ਲਹਰਿ ਲੋਭਾਨ੝ ਪਰਾਨੀ ਸੋ ਪ੝ਰਭ੝ ਚਿਤਿ ਨ ਆਵੈ ॥
ਸਾਧਸੰਗਤਿ ਸਿਉ ਸੰਗ੝ ਨ ਕੀਆ ਬਹ੝ ਜੋਨੀ ਦ੝ਖ੝ ਪਾਵੈ ॥
Anṯar lahar lobẖĝn parĝnī so parabẖ cẖiṯ na ĝvai.
Sĝḝẖsangaṯ si▫o sang na kī▫ĝ baho jonī ḝukẖ pĝvai.
The waves of greed are rising up within him, and he does not remember God.
He does not join the Company of the Holy, and he suffers in terrible pain through countless incarnations.


Company of the good and wise

Always seek and keep the compnay of the good, wise and holy people:

ਜਿਨੀ ਗ੝ਰਮ੝ਖਿ ਨਾਮ੝ ਸਲਾਹਿਆ ਤਿਨਾ ਸਭ ਕੋ ਕਹੈ ਸਾਬਾਸਿ ॥ ਤਿਨ ਕੀ ਸੰਗਤਿ ਦੇਹਿ ਪ੝ਰਭ ਮੈ ਜਾਚਿਕ ਕੀ ਅਰਦਾਸਿ ॥
Jinī gurmukẖ nĝm sahĝli▫ĝ ṯinĝ sabẖ ko kahai sĝbĝs. Ŧin kī sangaṯ ḝėh parabẖ mai jĝcẖik kī arḝĝs.
Those Gurmukhs who praise the Naam are applauded by everyone.

Grant me their company, God - I am a beggar; this is my prayer.


ਮੇਰੇ ਮਨ ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਨਾਮ੝ ਧਿਆਇ ॥ ਕਰਿ ਸੰਗਤਿ ਨਿਤ ਸਾਧ ਕੀ ਗ੝ਰ ਚਰਣੀ ਚਿਤ੝ ਲਾਇ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
Mere man har har nĝm ḝẖi▫ĝ▫e. Kar sangaṯ niṯ sĝḝẖ kī gur cẖarṇī cẖiṯ lĝ▫e. ((1))rahĝ▫o.
O my mind, meditate on the Name of the Lord, Har, Har.
Always keep the Company of the Holy, and focus your consciousness on the Feet of the Guru. ((1)(Pause))


Other related tuks