Virginity

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The loss of virginity can be viewed as a milestone to be proud of or as a failure to be ashamed of (particularly if a lack of self control was involved), depending on cultural perceptions. These perceptions were heavily influenced by perceived gender roles, such that for a male the association was more often with pride and for a female the association was more often with shame. But today women feel pride about this not in western culture but in other countries too. [This viewpoint may be subjective].

In Sikhism, sexual activity occurs only between married individuals. Before marriage it is ill-advised, as it has a high potential of being an indulgence of kaam( lust or extreme sexual desire). Virginity is important aspect of spirituality and everyone must attempt to preserve it before marriage, or when one is ready to move into another sacred state of being with their significant other.

Page 6, Line 16
ਖਿੰਥਾ ਕਾਲ੝ ਕ੝ਆਰੀ ਕਾਇਆ ਜ੝ਗਤਿ ਡੰਡਾ ਪਰਤੀਤਿ ॥
Let the remembrance of death be the patched coat you wear, let the purity of virginity be your way in the world, and let faith in the Lord be your walking stick.
Guru Nanak Dev

The above quote Guru Naknak says that to know God it is not necessary to become a sanyasi or Yogi : You should make contentment your ear-rings, humility your begging bowl, and meditation the ashes you apply to your body. Let the remembrance of death be the patched coat you wear, let the purity of virginity be your way in the world, and let faith in the Lord be your walking stick. The importance of virginity is revealed to mankind in the quotation from the guru.

Page 792, Line 12
ਕ੝ਆਰ ਕੰਨਿਆ ਜੈਸੇ ਕਰਤ ਸੀਗਾਰਾ ॥ ਕਿਉ ਰਲੀਆ ਮਾਨੈ ਬਾਝ੝ ਭਤਾਰਾ ॥੩॥
I decorate myself like a young virgin; but how can I enjoy pleasures, without my Husband Lord?
Devotee Kabir

Here Devotee Kabir expresses the spiritual pleasure of uniting with God. A female decorates herself to make her husband happy physically but what about the husband? He can find happiness only through Naam as it is said ਲਾਲ੝ ਰਗੀਲਾ ਸਹਜੇ ਪਾਇਓ ਸਤਿਗ੝ਰ ਬਚਨਿ ਲਹੋ ॥੧॥ i.e I have intuitively obtained my Darling Beloved. Through the Word of the True Guru's Teachings, I found Him.,So only through his remembrance, when you decorate yourself as in the above quotation, Guru Nanak says you will definitely find the true god. You can see how the lines are interrelated.

Page 1203, Line 7
ਕ੝ਆਰ ਕੰਨਿਆ ਜੈਸੇ ਸੰਗਿ ਸਹੇਰੀ ਪ੝ਰਿਅ ਬਚਨ ਉਪਹਾਸ ਕਹੋ ॥ ਜਉ ਸ੝ਰਿਜਨ੝ ਗ੝ਰਿਹ ਭੀਤਰਿ ਆਇਓ ਤਬ ਮ੝ਖ੝ ਕਾਜਿ ਲਜੋ ॥੧॥
The virgin speaks with her friends about her husband and they laugh together;but when he comes home, she becomes shy, and modestly covers her face. ||1||
Guru Arjan Dev

Here Guru Arjun Dev Jee speaks about a virgin girl's attitude. When she comes before her husband or fiance she becomes shy but behind his back she talks about him with her freinds and laughs.

Page 1292, Line 3
ਜਾਂ ਚੈ ਘਰਿ ਲਛਿਮੀ ਕ੝ਆਰੀ ਚੰਦ੝ ਸੂਰਜ੝ ਦੀਵੜੇ ਕਉਤਕ੝ ਕਾਲ੝ ਬਪ੝ੜਾ ਕੋਟਵਾਲ੝ ਸ੝ ਕਰਾ ਸਿਰੀ ॥
In His Home, the virgin Lakshmi dwells. The moon and the sun are His two lamps; the wretched Messenger of Death stages his dramas, and levies taxes on all.
Devotee Namdev

Here "virgin" means that Lakshmi is always young and her youthfulness never ends. This word is only applied to Lakshmi by Bhagat Namdev

Page 1381, Line 5 - 6
ਜਾਂ ਕ੝ਆਰੀ ਤਾ ਚਾਉ ਵੀਵਾਹੀ ਤਾਂ ਮਾਮਲੇ ॥
When she is a virgin, she is full of desire; but when she is married, then her troubles begin.

ਫਰੀਦਾ ਝਹੋ ਪਛੋਤਾਉ ਵਤਿ ਕ੝ਆਰੀ ਨ ਥੀਝ ॥੬੩॥
फरीदा झहो पछोताउ वति कढ़आरी न थीझ ॥६३॥
Farīḝĝ ėho pacẖẖoṯĝo vaṯ kuĝrī na thīai. ||63||
Fareed, she has this one regret, that she cannot be a virgin again. ||63||
Sekh Farid

The above quotation relates to the thoughts of a girl about marriage. When she gets married she has to obey her husband and remain under his thumb. This is a quote from Sheikh Fareed who was a Muslim and knews how Islam deals with women In Sikhism both sexes are supposed to be equal, although the same thing sometimes happens within Sikh marriages, although it is unacceptable. Such marriages occur worldlwide but should not happen amongst the godly.

Bhaga Fareed also said that when she was virgin she was happy.

All of this does not means that one should never marry and remain a virgin. It is clear that not to become a whore and not to make anyone else a whore is suficient.